Send in the Scooter
Maybe it's the thin prairie air. Maybe it's (the) right wing politics. Or maybe, just maybe, it's the five frickin inches of snow still covering the dead ground here. Whatever it is, I feel compelled to comment from afar on the founding fathers' tribute.
And lest any newbies - who are you guys anyway - question my soon to be spouted opinions, let me just say I was there for the one - and only -North-South challenge in a rainy ... parking lot in the fall of 1991. I don't think I missed a game for the next seven years.
However, parenting whittled away both my commitment, and fitness, and in 1999 more lucrative employment opportunities forced my hasty retirement. But I digress.
It was good to see the old guard get their dues but where were the muckers and pluggers? The Marcus', The Guido's, the Teal Stick's, hell the Dog On D's??? Those 'Original Six' kinda guys would physically destroy these new princesses chargin around the court.
The skill was there and blood was spilled on an almost weekly basis, sometimes even intentionally. Anyway, this grizzled dog could wax poetic forever but kudos to roadhockey.net...even if you omitted some, ahem, obvious talent.
Why if it was fiscally possible I'd pull out the neon tape, wing (out) and, and...well lets just say score another triumph for the founding fathers (and probably a million goals on Lobsterboy - that happened a lot and he knows it..haha).
Keep up the tradition lads. I read with interest every Monday.
The Player Formerly Known as Fashion Diva Scooter
Elvis' spin misdirected
I was quite enjoying Elvis' rant and was pretty much agreeing with him point for point. However, after laying out a persuasive argument regarding unnecessary and uncalled for insults, he then took an unnecesary and uncalled for shot at me regarding my "fair-weather" status.
I believe that this season, I have laid to rest the "myth" about me not playing in bad weather. How interesting it was to see that in the last game, I was out there playing in the rain and even shooting on the correct net.
Perhaps given his directional abilities, young Elvis should think twice about playing in bad weather.
Wink; the mouthpiece gone bad
Yeah so I guess winks week off gave him an opportunity to take a stab at more than just a couple people...one of whom was me.
So in retort to his comment about me not having the right to comment on the golie situation, because I'm not willing to strap on the pads -I have this to say: In this league, there are playersÊwho are forwards, there are defensmen and there are goalies. The divisions are quite obvious and so very established. Players like PFG (whom wasn't included in my goalie dedication rant) are known to the rest of us as a goalie. Although his skills as a forward demand respect, his nick name is after all Pig Farming GOALIE. And to say that Ottoman should be considered anything but a goalie is absurd. Even Lobsterboy, who is destined for the Roadhocky Hall of Fame despite his lack luster effort this season is known to to all for his fantastically dramatic antics in goal and not on the courts.
So Wink, to speak ill of those not living up to there goalkeeping roles is really no different than speaking ill of Geiblhaus for showing up late or Beetleboy never showing for unfavorable weather. And by your own rule of mouth, I suppose you shouldn't really have the right to comment on a forward like myself since its a lot less work to lurk around the back of the play and wait to be fed passes at the point -like the defensmen you are.
Wink opens pot
If Lobsterboy wants to come back, he'll be more than welcome.
Road hockey has never shunned the goofs, the malcontents and the sons of bitches, and I can't see a guy like Lobsterboy, a guy who has given so much to the game in the past, being treated as an outcast.
That said, Lobster needs to respect the efforts given by the newer guys. The Elvises and the Idols and the Ottomans have helped build this into road hockey's most spectacular season ever. We have never had as many good, well-attended games as we've had this season and those newer guys are a big reason for that.
In closing, I'd be more than happy to have Lobsterboy on my team Sunday. It doesn't mean that I won't goon him; I'd just help him up afterwards if that was the case.
Wink, the notorious gameshow host gone nostalgic
Wink takes a shot
I, Wink, being of sound mind and really bad body, declare that Lobstergirl should be the next addition to the Road Hockey Hall of Fame.
She has improved the game by leaps and bounds by keeping Lobsterboy, a shell (pun intended) of his former self, at home.
Now, there are no worries about getting gooned by the goalie. There are no worries about the netminder whiffing on shots because he's in the bag from the night before. There are no worries about lighting a match and turning the 'tender into flame thrower.
Most of all, there's no 'Will he, or won't he?" questions about the goaltender. (That's both "Will he or won't he show up?" and "Will he or won't he puke on my shoes after the first period?")
Sure, my goal scoring has gone down, because I owned the funny French fella, but I'm willing to take that, for the good of the game, as it were.
The new goalies like Ottoman and PFG and even New Guy make Lobsterboy look like the Human Pylon. So, bravo, Lobstergirl. Keep up the good work.
I haf both deep shame and large pride for hockey playing men of my adopted homeland.
In Latvia, where snow is more deep than Ladas we drive on road and air freeze even the most wodka filled of breath, still we Latvians trudge out to pig pen with shovel to find most hard frozen pig dropping to use as puck in afternoon game of hockey. Never in history of country has little thing like blizzard stopped us from playing this beloved kingsport of winter.
So where, I ask, is long bragged about "indomitable winter spirit of (roadsters)"?
Not in dozen Sunday Morning Road hockey players who cowered in bed early (Sunday) when they see measly foot ov snow on road. Not in ten plus two or three so-called "rain or shine" roadsters who have shaking knees when look at ice on windowsill. Not in the two handful ov wrongly named "veteran"” whose new name I say is "Old Bolsheviks Who Can’t Hold Hockey Sticks."
No. Not there.
But in four men of giant heart and enormous kielbasa. Elvis. Billy Idol. Lak Attack. Living Legend.
You. Are. (Roadsters).
With much respect und admiration,
Elvis rips weather-weary vets
So we sat-Idol and the King-atop a hill of snow sipping coffees and keeping a keen eye out for a familiar car, a mountain bike with sticks strapped to it-anything to suggest that the day wouldn't be a write-off.
We pondered the likelihood of ANY other roadsters making an appearance on this rare blizzard of a day.
For the first time ever all three of our goalies were a scratch for various reasons-fair enough! And from there we moved on down the roster, running off the names of the people we thought would brave the weather and those notorious for avoiding anything but clear skies and sunshine.
I suppose deep down we knew we should have just stayed home-that the convictions of the roadsters' "rain or shine" play policy had its limits. But just to be sure we wandered down the hill through 10" of snow to the courts. Maybe there were people down there. Maybe a few players had eluded our surveillance and came by foot-maybe via bus.
But everybody knows the answer to that don't they?
So I hope everybody enjoyed their tea and quality Sunday television progamming. And take comfort in the fact that the roads were indeed filled with spinning cars and spraying snow plows--a life risking ride to be sure.
And I'll take comfort in the fact that Billy Idol and Elvis will never, ever, be accused of dodging less than perfect weather or be lumped together in that group of "lacklustre rookies" that don't showenough respect to the founding fathers-wherever they were.
For the first time in my long road hockey career, and as much as it pains
me to say it, I think Idol makes some good points.
Wink, notorious gameshow host gone bad
Way to go Idol. But calling me a drama queen? (I'm) troubled.
Idol dances with himself
For the first time in my short roadhockey career, and as much as it pains me to do so, I agree with Wink; I am bored stiff of hearing about the invisible Lobsterboy and the 'invincible' PFG.
I wanna hear about the intensity, the drama of the game! Not the game's hard-drinking blah, blah, blah drama queen - Lobsterboy. Who woulda thunk somebody could get so much press by not even showing up?
So let's hear about how the lopsided shifting affected the teams...how it wasn't an easy victory at all...about Ottoman's fury after the game!
Pray tell...quest que c'est, uh, GCM's "waning career?"
Is it not GCM who averages a bucketful of goals per game complemented by his unselfish playmaking to turn chumps into champs? Is it not GCM who will occasionally rack up 12 goals in a 20-goal tilt, only to read a "story" in the road hockey Pravda praising some plumber's ability to actually run up and down the court and score a goal off his ass?
Is it not GCM whose speed still surpasses the fastest of the pimply faced kids whose perfunctory stickhandling skills would be better suited for making kindling?
Is it not GCM who has won three consecutive Stanley Sticks?
Ponder this, you so-called gentleman of the press.
For those scoring at home, rearguard is "hockey slang for a defenceman," according to the Oxford Dictionary.
Jay...you can't keep using it to refer to a netminder or goaltender or keeper of the cage or backstop or crazy padded freak or drunk guy. (It's never a goalkeeper...that's a soccer term.)
Notorious gameshow host gone bad, Wink
PFG slops a little mud
Okay, I read many comment by old player Lobsterboy where he talk about new players not want to talk to newspaper and other media outside of game. Maybe he speak true, maybe not.
What is absolute true is that while this Lobsterboy-who-cannot-hold-his-wodka has much to say outside of game, in last while he has been silent in game. Come put mouth where money is!
I want rematch.
Pig Farming Goalie
Lobster claws approval
Yeah and amen.
But now hopefully other people can get off their asses (yeah you Kid...) and express themeselves off and on the court....
Billy Idol's rebellious yell
How about a game report? Not a lame report!
I check yet another roadhockey.net report this evening and what do I get? All the details of some guy who played some years ago.
Sure us newcomers have an appreciation for the elders, and beyond that, even the fogiefathers of the game, but c'mon, let's talk about the game!
Quite frankly, boring drunken antics, momentary comebacks, and yet another Wink quote, isn't making the grade with this player.
Silence is molting
It seems that Paul one and I dominate (or complain) the most to the media. Where are the other roadsters' opinions?
I'd rather hear it from other roadsters than from this mistake-minded, quote impaired, agenda seizing, prohibition supportive "editor"....
One wants two-four
I feel I must offer a response to the growing anti booze movement that seems to be taking over the official road press.
This week's article was a prime example. I simply can't believe that a fine, upstanding fellow like Wink would say the things attributed to him in this week's article. He must have been misquoted.
What is the media's true agenda? It almost seems as if the the road hockey press is trying to start a movement to move the boozers out of the game. Is the weekly edition becoming a bastion for mormons?
As far as I'm concerned, Road Hockey and the bottle go hand-in-hand. Think about the original six (NHL teams, not roadsters) and you're thinking about boozing, carousing and hard living. Road hockey is much the same.
Lobsterboy and I are just "castbacks" (i.e.long time veterns) living the hard life. If this offends the newer, younger, prettier rookies. Too bad. Lobster and I were shovelling the courts before they were old enough to wet their diapers. We earned our stripes in the rain, in the snow, and on many of "Road Hockey's Darkest Days".
I say lets all take a step "back to future", a future that includes mixed drinks, wine, shooters and the ever tasty beer. A future that depends on aspirin, and the occasional visit to the porcelin altar. A future whose motto is: party tonight, because tommorrow we dance....
Paul "Bud" One
There's nothing wrong with hard living. But in the old NHL, if a player's boozing and carousing kept him from the next game, you can bet he quickly found himself on the next train to the minor leagues!--ed.
Lobsterboy vows vengeance
This is distressing, you know once in awhile as you're sitting in a cheap godforsaken hotel in China, trying to avoid hepatitis A through G, you think about your buddies far away, playing the game you love, wondering if they miss you...
Then you eagerly pick up your emails and open up the latest issue of (roadhockey.net) and find out that you have replaced by a Latvian or Lithuanian Pig farmer!
Not only that but you get dissed by your supposedly supportive gameshow host gone bad...
When i get back, let me tell you, there's gonna be some goalie stick swinging incidents and some good old billy smith antics, you bastar....
Lobsterboy laments lack of coverage
Why is it that the media rarely features any photos of the saves that the goaltenders make?
Why is it that the photo captions always show the defeated goalies and the proud scorers?
Why are we always portrayed as out of position, sprawling, grasping, humiliated husks of humanity?
With a respectable 13 goals against average, I would like more features on the success of goalies, our mental and drinking capacities, perhaps even a slide show of our bruises...
One wonders why
The penalty shot may be the most exciting play in road hockey, but, it sure doesn't feel right when it's awarded in controversy.
Don't get me wrong, I believe in "take'n a shot" if a gross foul is perpetrated, but, what's a gross foul? Is it standing in front of the net and having Wink drive his stick so far up your butt that you can taste the Easton Aluminum on your fillings?? Is it The Hired Gun laying a lick on you so hard that you feel your body will be squeezed through the smallest hole in the chain link fence?? Or is it Lobster Boy swinging his goal stick so hard that splinters go through your shin pads, shin skin, shin bones and become permanent reminders of your road hockey days?
I don't know,, maybe its time the League Office stepped in and made a pronouncement on what qualifies as a gross foul..When do we award penalty shots?
Dear Commissioner, take some leadership in this matter. The survival of the game as we know it hangs in the balance.
Until then, it is "Road Hockey's Darkest Day!"