February 28, 2006

Turning a disadvantage into an advantage

Playing without a substitute player to spell off their starters, Unabomber thought his team would quickly fade in Sunday's game. Instead, they outwitted their opponents to outscore them, 20-15.

What Unabomber and his mates lacked in energy and speed, they more than made up with smarts, preserving their legs by playing sound positional road hockey and taking advantage of all their scoring chances to build momentum and deflate their preening opponents.

"You've got to really conserve energy," said Unabomber of his team's shorthanded strategy. "You just can't always forecheck as hard as you normally would, you just have to position yourself to take out the lanes."

"You've just got to play a smart rotation on defense," said Cowboy Bill. "You don't run around and waste your energy."

Perhaps lulled into complacency by their manpower advantage, their opponents couldn't build on their fast start that staked them to an early lead. Sparked by the Kid's deadly touch around the net, the underdogs scored five straight goals to seize the game's momentum.

"We got some momentum, kept passing it around and everyone was cooperating good," said Unabomber.

"We just didn't make the key plays when we needed to make them," said Wendel, who wheezed his way through only his second start of the new year. "We were just a little too fancy sometimes, too many passes and too few shots, that made all the difference."

And so did some solid goaltending from Nibs, who won his fifth game in seven shotstopping starts this season.

"Nibs played really well for us, and that allowed us to open it up a little bit more on offense," said Cowboy Bill. "You know you're going to go against guys who have a little more energy, so you've got to make sure you have a goalie who's able to come up with a couple of big stops."

Nibs heroics tightened the grip opposing scorers held on their sticks, causing them to miss open nets, bank shots of the goalposts and dribble harmless tricklers into the goalie's smothering pads.

"We were just a little too fancy sometimes," said Wendel. "We were trying a little too hard sometimes to be the heroes, to make the pretty plays."

Posted by jaysuburb at 08:06 PM | Comments (7)

February 20, 2006

One for the family

Paul One earned an extra helping of pototoes at his family's Sunday night dinner after he beat his brother-in-law, Lobsterboy, earlier in the day, 20-17, in road hockey's first sibling showdown of shotstoppers.

The neophyte netminder survived a couple of lulls during which he gave up five straight goals to earn brotherly bragging rights.

"There's nothing sweeter than beating your brother-in-law," said Paul One, who agreed to make only his second career start between the pipes when the prospect of facing down his rival relative proved too enticing to pass up.

"He's gonna do victory laps around the living room tonight," said Lobsterboy, who struggled in his first start since breaking his toe during some off-court hijinx. "I was very shakey, I let a lot of lousy goals in."

Indeed, neither netminder looked particularly strong, as each weathered difficult lulls that resulted in their respective teams giving up sizable leads.

"Those five or six goal runs can be back breakers," said Paul One. "You get everyone sorta looking around and worrying about the defensive end instead of going the other way and trying to score."

"We lost the lead so many times but we always caught up," said Lobsterboy, whose team spotted their oppoents an early 6-1 advantage but then battled back to take a four-goal lead of their own. "You just have to keep cool and remember the game has ebbs and flows."

But victory finally flowed from the creaseminding crustacean's claws when pesky goalscorer Kid finally found his touch around the net.

"Kid was the key in this game for sure," said Colonel, making only his second start since the addition of a new recruit to his family. "Everything that came off the end of his stick went in the net."

"I think we had the shooters on our side," said Paul One.

"Our team definitely did not have the greatest shooters," said Lobsterboy.

Posted by jaysuburb at 09:51 PM | Comments (4)

February 13, 2006

Bird goes balls out

In arguably the best game of the New Year, Bird made
the difference. With his team down 12-10, and
struggling to keep pace, Bird potted a natural hatrick
to take the lead and eventually win the game 20-17.

But his mid game heroics were overshadowed by an
unfortunate event.

Attempting to tally yet another goal past beleaguered
goaltender Gump, the Bird perched himself in front of
the net waiting to pounce on a rebound from a Cowboy
Bill point shot. Showing his distaste for the recently
Oscar nominated film, "Brokeback Mountain," the
Cowboy took out his frustrations on the evil orange
ball as he directed a slap shot at the net.
Regrettably, Bird got in the way.

After taking the blast in the crown jewels, Bird
performed his famous "Bird-Dance'" as he rolled around
the road hockey court in obvious pain.

"I felt for him," said Gump, "I've been hit there at
road hockey before, and its not a pretty sight."

The Bird showed his true feathers though, after
sitting out the next few shifts to attend to his
injury, he scored yet another crucial goal, top
corner, for his team leading them to victory.

"All and all, I thought Bird was their best player
today," said Gump. "If he keeps playing like he did on
Sunday, he'lll have two cups in his future, The
Stanley Stick and the one he better go buy at Canadian
Tire this week."

Posted by jaysuburb at 08:04 PM | Comments (5)

February 12, 2006

An open letter to Bird

Dear Bird,

Should we change Cowboy's name to Dick Cheney?



Posted by Wink at 11:48 PM | Comments (0)

February 06, 2006

The pause that frets

When Lobsterboy left the court midway through Sunday's game after aggravating a toe injury, the players paused. Some, like Unabomber, fretted. Bird reflected. Beetle Boy was hopeful.

In the frenetic pace of Sunday Morning Road Hockey, the pause that refreshes can also mess with a player's head. And despite holding a substantial lead, Unabomber and his mates weren't about to relax.

"We know we've got to get ourselves warmed up again to get back into the game," said the goateed goalscorer. "You start to get a little cold, the sweat's drying. There's a lot of unknown factors here to get used to."

His linemate, Cowboy Bill, kept his game face keyed.

"You just wanna maintain your focus," said the hard-working backchecker. "You don't wanna get too lax, you don't wanna let them get back into it. You've got to clamp down."

But for the underdogs, the extended break as their newly-acquired goalie, Gump, suited up, gave them a chance to rework their game strategy and attack the game's second half with new hope.

"For our team today, the break was good because we were really getting shut down," said Beetle Boy, making his first start of the new year after battling illness and work commitments. "It's a gut check. We've just got to think about what we've got to do, who we have to shut down."

Shut out through the game's first half, Bird was reflective.

"If you don't come out strong, you know it's going to be over really really fast," said the winged winger.

Slumped on the player's bench, Elvis compared his team's dismal first half to auto mechanics.

"It's like being in a Volkswagen van stuck in the snow and you've only got one guy who's trying to push you out," said the poetic player. "It's tough, it's a heavy challenge."

Posted by jaysuburb at 09:24 PM | Comments (5)