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Beetle bails out game

The season hasn't even started yet, and Sunday Morning Road Hockey is already in crisis.

Beetle Boy made his first career start in net in Sunday's second pre-season game after a report that veteran goaltender Gump could miss the first two months of the season. And with regular rearguard Pig Farming Goalie preoccupied with his new fatherly duties and Lobsterboy unreliable, the league may be launched into the new campaign with a crippling shotstopper shortage.

"Suddenly, the 'shooter-tutors' that the roguesters are using look good to us," said Beetle Boy, referring to the wooden net guards used by a neighboring game instead of relying upon the vagaries of a sometimes flighty creaseminding corps.

Sunday's crisis was further exacerbated when only one roadster, Nibs, brought goaltending gear. Only a chance encounter with Lak Attack, who hadn't been planning to play as he opted to work on his conditioning, saved the day, and he was dispatched to bring his own set up equipment.

Recruiting rearguards has been a challenge for the roadsters since the retirement of Hall of Famer, Goaltending Stawlart Wawrow, more than eight years ago. Saviors like Ottoman, Couch, Frosty and New Guy have come and gone, unable to withstand the physical barrage and mental punishment of being the last line of defense in the small confines of the road hockey court. And with veterans like Lobsterboy, Gump and Pig Farming Goalie succumbing to the wear and tear of the grueling position to find other, less hazardous, Sunday morning distractions, the waning backups, Nibs, Lak Attack and Billy Idol, have increasingly been forced to set aside their offensive aspirations to step between the pipes. They're not always happy about it.

Beetle Boy's cinderella start in the crease fell just short, as his team succumbed 20-16. But neither goalie was severely tested, as the roadsters continued to struggle with the timing of their passes and accuracy of their shots.
This Sunday's final tune-up could also be a spartan affair, as a number of roadsters, including Beetle Boy, Colonel, Cowboy Bill and Lak Attack, have already indicated they'll be absent.

Posted by jaysuburb at October 8, 2008 06:23 AM