September 12, 2008

Unabomber snuffed for season

Sunday Morning goalies' lives just got easier. And longer.
Unabomber has announced he's taking his fearsome slapshot to Australia for a year. Cricket may never be the same again.
The powerful point man, who's been battling injuries the past two seasons, helped lead his team to a remarkable comeback from the brink of elimination to win last year's Stanley Stick championship by scoring a number of key goals with his patented rapier rips. One of them caved in the protective cage of goaltender Billy Idol's mask, closing his eye with a tremendous purple shiner and sending him to the sidelines. The subsequent goalie switch to offensive dynamo Lak Attack may have been the series' turning point.
Originally a walk-on who found the Sunday Morning game because he lived in the neighborhood, Unabomber quickly established himself as an intimidating force in the defensive zone and a frightening presence at the point. His mighty blasts may have caromed off the end fence as often as they found the net, but they often sent opposing goalies and defenders scattering for their lives. And if one of them happened to get in the way, the sting of his shot could last for weeks.
Even off the court, Unabomber could whither opponents or slacker teammates with his menacing scowl. His desire to win was unrelenting and when angered, he could turn a game on its ear with a glower.
Goalies will get their first taste of the Unabomber-free era on Sept. 28, when the league begins its three-game exhibition season. Whether any of them will celebrate by playing without their usual layers of protective padding remains to be seen.
The regular season begins Oct. 19.

Posted by jaysuburb at September 12, 2008 07:38 AM
Comments

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to close the comments for now, due to spam attacks. Sorry. See everyone next week!

Posted by: Jay Suburb at September 16, 2008 12:44 PM

Make sure you come back with a life-time supply of Noni juice Bomber. By the time 2009 rolls around, I'm going to need it!

Posted by: The Colonel at September 14, 2008 10:51 PM

Say it ain't so! You'll be missed Una, hope you'll be back on the courts again next season.

Posted by: wendel at September 13, 2008 10:40 AM