November 11, 2007

Sicko

It's amazing what a run of goals can do for a runny nose.

Taking to the crease Sunday with a virus that had confined him to bed until game time, Gump barely broke a cold sweat as his team ran up the score, 20-4, on their hapless opponents. The road hockey shutout was the perfect remedy for what ailed him.

"Nobody can see how sick you really are," said the sickened shotstopper of the benefits of his side's dominating performance. "I think I actually play a lot better when I'm sick."

In fact, Gump wasn't the only player on his team suffering through yet another soggy, cold game, as Beetle Boy also defied the rain and rheumatism. At the other end of the court, Unabomber wheezed and sneezed for the losers. The dampness which has plagued more than half of this season's games is taking its toll.

"It's awful playing sick," said Beetle Boy. "You don't have much stamina, you don't have much breath, you don't have the power that you normally do."

"When you're feeling sick you get tired a lot quicker," said Cowboy Bill. "You know you're not going to be able to get back in time."

That means playing a more conservative strategy, slowing the game down, said Gump.

"It's as if the game is being played in slow motion. You just focus on the ball."

"The big thing is you're not going to be able to take too many chances," said Cowboy Bill. "You tend to play a little more positionally, you get away from using your speed and use more strategy."

"You try not to get caught out of position, try not to take too many chances," said Beetle Boy. "You're clearing the ball when you get the chance rather than trying to do anything fancy with it."

But for some roadsters, playing sick can be just what the doctor ordered.

"I think I actually play a lot better when I'm sick," said Gump. "You can see the ball a bit better because you slow things down a little bit. You just don't overthink things."

Posted by jaysuburb at November 11, 2007 08:35 PM
Comments

Clearly Kid also needs to bone up on his post-game shoot-out challenges. Perhaps the two of you can bone-up together. lol

Posted by: The Colonel at November 16, 2007 09:23 PM

Sure,

Take penalty shots at the sick guy and make fun of him for getting scored on. What does that say about Kid who got shutout?

Posted by: Gump at November 16, 2007 11:22 AM

Defense is for players (I use that term loosely) who can't score. Sunday was an example of a team devoted purely to defense and no offense. If you can't put the ball in the net, the score is always going to be incredibly lop-sided in the other team's favour.

Gump - you clearly need to bone up on your post-game shoot-out challenges.

Posted by: The Colonel at November 15, 2007 03:53 PM

I'm a dumbass, see you in Seattle. Maybe we should hold our game on the road this week. What do you think Roadsters?

Posted by: Gump at November 15, 2007 10:39 AM

uh, no, thanks for the thought though, gumper. just an ironic observation.

Posted by: pfg at November 15, 2007 07:48 AM

Yup, but it's a romantic weekend, so no room in the car, if that's what you're asking???

Posted by: Gump at November 14, 2007 03:27 PM

Uh oh, I smell a goalie crisis...

Posted by: Living Legend at November 14, 2007 07:29 AM

where you going Gump? Seattle, by chance?

Posted by: pfg at November 13, 2007 06:42 PM

No Lobster, if I was hungover, it would have been 20-bagel.

By the way, I'm off in the states next weekend, so I won't be out.

Posted by: Gump at November 13, 2007 12:05 PM

Gump, by sick did you mean hungover?

Posted by: lobsterboy at November 13, 2007 10:18 AM

Hey PFG,

Nice shameless plug of your 20-4 victory...I enjoyed the photo of you stoning Lak, those pads are so retro, especially with the duct tape holding them together. You look like a young Mike Vernon! I can see why Lak was so upset, that's twice he's been shelled!

Just kidding Lak, that really was a crappy game, speed and back checking was definitely a factor. I'm surprised Idol didn't kill anybody, he was hung out to dry all game, even though it was wet.

Posted by: Gump at November 13, 2007 08:08 AM

wow. been a whle since i've seen a 20-4 score, a few years at least. in fact, i think it was late 2001, week 12 (check the archives). nasty.
won't be out for next week either; in Seattle for the weekend. hope it's sunny, and not another rout...

Posted by: pfg at November 12, 2007 11:57 PM

For completeness, the teams were

Gump(G)
Beetle Boy
Kid
Cowboy Bill
Doo
Nibs

Billy Idol(G)
Unabomber
Lak
Scrappy
Colonel
Odie

And I know Lak is upset but it was just a weird game all around, with weird bounces and bad court conditions.

Posted by: Beetle Boy at November 12, 2007 07:20 PM

Personally I do not buy the sickeness crap. Today was a display of crap defense from everybody on the losing team. Personally very pissed off with my own performance and thought that Billy started off slow but played well in the second half. How many 3-0 and 3-1 did billy have to face with us still not responding.I am VERY TEEDOFF but looking forward to playing better next week! Just so you guys know this is my water down version of what I really wanted to say about the game today.

Posted by: Lakattack at November 11, 2007 08:50 PM