May 08, 2006

Colonel leads his troops

The Colonel talks loud. Sunday, he also carried a big stick.

The controversial centreman capped a week of trash talking, online sparring and counterpunching cajoles by scoring seven goals, including the game winner, to lead his team to a hard-fought 20-17 win and a two-game sweep of the Stanley Stick Championship series. It was a Most Valuable Performance that earned him his first victory sip of champagne in his long and sometimes rocky career.

"You can't talk and not show up," said the Colonel, who spent most of the week between games trading online jabs with his arch-rival, Paul One. "If you're gonna talk, you better bring your "A" game."

Sunday, the Colonel brought leadership and a knack for scoring timely goals as his team trailed the game only once, but nevertheless found themselves in a life-and-death struggle late when their feisty foes stormed back from a 17-11 deficit with five straight goals. One of those goals was even scored by the Colonel, when he accidentally banked a clearing shot off Scooby's ankle and past a bewildered Pig Farming Goalie.

But while the old Colonel might have collapsed into a fit of self-loathing and stick smashing, Sunday he used his error as a motivator.

"I knew we needed some goals and banking it off Scooby's foot into our own net was just totally deflating," said the Colonel. "But this game, at this time of year, is a mental game, you need to push through it, get your emotion back into the game and get some goals."

He did just that, finally ending the nearly four-hour marathon game when he took a pass in the slot from Lak Attack and banked it in off Gump's pad and glove.

"I was kinda hoping it would be a feeling of total joy, but it's more relief than anything," said the Colonel of finally getting the Stanley Stick monkey off his back.

He also got Paul One off his back. After nearly coming to blows with his rival late in last week's opener, the two combatants duked it out online, ratcheting the tension and the stakes.

"It's always fun to play against the Colonel because you know he's going to give 100 percent," said the voiciferous veteran. "He's definitely got skills for sure, he's got nice hands in front of the net and he showed today that he can lead a team."

"I said before the game the two keys were we just have to stay positive and we just had to try not to think abaout the bashing on the website, especially for the Colonel," said Pig Farming Goalie, who's steady play in the series earned him a share of the Conn Stick Award as his squad's Most Valuable Player.

"He was scoring big goals for us all day," said Bird.

He needed to. Despite trailing only once all day, 8-7, the Colonel and his mates couldn't afford to let up for a moment as their opponents used the advantage of their speedy youngsters, Kid and Scooby, and the feisty forechecking of Paul One and the Living Legend to keep the pressure on and battle back from five and six goal deficits.

"I think they had slightly better legs than we did," said Pig Farming Goalie. "We ran pretty well today but they had very very strong attack."

"We absolutely knew we were in a battle," said Bird. "To only win by five goals over the entire series, it was tough."

But playing from behind almost the entire series exacted a toll the underdogs couldn't overcome, as time and again they'd see their hard work negated by another two or three goal hole.

"In a game like this, when there's not a lot to choose between the teams, when you're constantly playing from behind, it wears you down," said the Living Legend. "It's really tough to make that leap to get a lead and hang on to it."

"In your mind you're playing to get yourself back into the game and then you have to make an adjustment in your head to suddenly play to win the game," said Paul One. "A couple of times during the series we'd fight our way back into it and they you kinda ease off a little bit at that point and it cost us."

As the Colonel and his mates opened their six-goal lead, the biggest in the series, the championship seemed to be playing right into their hands.

"I thought it was going to be a romp at that point," said the Colonel. "I think it's a definite advantage, but you have to be careful because when you get up a bit, you can get complacent as well."

That's just what happened, said the Colonel, and as the underdogs reunited Kid, Scooby and Nibs to weave the offensive magic of last week's opener, they found themselves gripping their sticks a little tighter, making lapses in the defensive zone and the bounces that had been going their way suddenly defied them.

"We were up 17-11 and suddenly we turned around and it was 17-16 and that was downright scary," said the Colonel. "I think we broke down defensively a little bit, I think there was heightened effort from the other team. They were just a little bit better than us at that point in the game."

"I think we were a little bit worried," said Bird. "We couldn't score because Gump was coming up big and they closed it all down. We were a little frustrated that all the bounces were going against us. But you've got to fight through it."

Disorganized and discordant, the leaders gathered around their goalie for a time out to recoup their focus and make some subtle changes to their line matchups.

"I was just trying to stay focused," said Pig Farming Goalie. "Some of those last goals that went in were just weird bounces and I was caught off guard. There were some bad goals for sure. It was tough to hold on."

"You've just got to keep working, keep throwing it at the net, take advantage of a lucky bounce now and then," said Bird. "You know you're going to beat them eventually."

The strategy worked. The underdogs' momentum sputtered and the champs took advantage.

"I think it was the big goals we ended up scoring," said Pig Farming Goalie. "The Colonel scored some big goals for us today."

"I think we were all relieved when he finally potted the winner," said Bird.





Despite being one of Sunday Morning Road Hockey's senior players, the Colonel's Stanley Stick victory on Sunday was his first in only two appearances, as work commitments, familial obligations and injuries conspired to keep him from previous championship series'.
Lak Attack appears on the Stanley Stick trophy seven times, the most of any roadster.
Paul One failed to sip from the coveted chalice for the second consecutive year, after a run of five straight victories, while the Living Legend hasn't played for a Stick winner since 2001.

After the game, the Legend refuted speculation that this season was his last.
"I don't see any reason to retire," said the fellow founding father and the league's oldest active player. "As long as I can walk after the game, I hope there will be a place in the game for me."

Sunday's game lasted just short of four hours, making this year's Stanley Stick final one of the closest, evenly-matched series in Sunday Morning Road Hockey history.
"We played for seven plus hours (over two games) and it came down to a matter of five goals," said Paul One. "To come that close and come away without anything is devastating."
"They were with us all the way," said Bird of his tenacious rivals. "To have two teams separated by so few goals, I just think it was one of the best Sticks I've been in."
"I think both teams measured up to their strengths well," said the Legend.
"The teams were pretty evenly matched," said the Colonel. "I guess the difference was we were able to turn it up when it mattered at the end of the game."

Posted by jaysuburb at May 8, 2006 07:45 AM
Comments

Lobster,

I read your latest reply to Mrs. Colonel and she says, "He is so funny! He is so intelligent!"

How can you retire when there are fans, of the fairer persuasion even, who so look forward to your wit and charm?

PS: She'd still like to meet Mrs. Lobster some day. Mrs. Colonel remembers hearing so many cool gymnast things about her while relishing in the nectar of the dragon gods and perusing the articles associated with Miss December (an upside down Katarina Witt if I recall correctly). Athletic wasn't she?

Posted by: The Colonel at May 20, 2006 09:44 PM

Excellent Colonel!!! I knew you would be able to decipher my little, oops big joke, it is along the Davinci code hidden in meaning :) Have a great summer, and please do not erase my name from the storied stnaley stick

Posted by: lobsterboy at May 17, 2006 08:40 AM

Well I don't think I'll "pull" my Bible out to read that scripture, but if "onanism" sums the passage up, and your retirement will provide you the time you desire to "reflect upon yourself," then I prefer to be as far away from the "culmination" of your off-court pre, post, and now substitute-game rituals.

Posted by: The Colonel at May 16, 2006 10:28 PM

Actually part of the retirement was the utter disgust I felt at helping you win the Stanley Stick by allowing you to score on me... and you winning the cup is another sign of the appocalypse, so I urge everyone to be prepared for rapture Matthew 16-11, and stop all of your onanism...

Posted by: lobsterboy at May 16, 2006 12:56 PM

Paul One, stop pretending to be the Lobster.

This time around I'm not buying what you're selling.

Posted by: The Colonel at May 13, 2006 10:17 AM

Lobsterboy your being shellfish.

Posted by: Paul 2 at May 12, 2006 04:03 PM

Lobster, you're my idol, you can't leave us. It doesn't look like Yzerman's going to pack it in, so you can't either!

Posted by: Gump at May 11, 2006 02:49 PM

Lobsterboy, you're being selfish.
If you go, I may not score another goal.

Posted by: Wink at May 11, 2006 08:45 AM

Tabernac! Shake it off Lobster, that's the bottle talking. You can't retire, the game just won't be the same without you. You bring a certain je ne sais quoi to the court. I mean, who else wears oven-mitts on their ass?

Posted by: wendel at May 10, 2006 10:21 PM

I hope youre joking Lobsterboy. You can at least play out no?

Posted by: Elvis at May 10, 2006 02:45 PM

After ten years backstopping and leading his team to many Stanley Sticks and two Conn Stick trophies, Lobsterboy is announcing his retirement from the league. The crease-minded crustacean floppy style and claw saves that electrified the fans in the early years have not proven to be effective in the "new road hockey" game. Fans have also noted that Lobsterboy's goalie equipment which was questionable at the beggining, has greatly failed to protect him from Howitzer shots from Unabomber and that Wink has always been able to hit the special part of Lobsterboy colarbone whic was left unprotected. Old age, boozing, bouts of bipolar depression and homelessness have affected his appearances and dedication to the game.

Posted by: lobsterboy at May 10, 2006 11:04 AM

a great finish to a pretty good season. hopefully next year we'll be able to get more people out.
congrats to Colonel and my teammates for sticking in there. Gump, you came pretty close to breaking our hearts. Next year we'll push the games to a 15 goal limit regularly (two hours won't be enough to get 20 on either of us...). Kid and Scooby, you were dangerous, and NIBS! Where was that play all year?! Legend, glad to hear you aren't retiring; you're years away from that.
Have a good summer y'all! and see you at the summer game.

Posted by: pfg at May 9, 2006 07:02 PM

Well, now that I've fallen the mighty Paul One, is there anything left to play for???

Perhaps I will contemplate this retirement you've suggested for a moment ... nope not quite ready to give up having my way with you just yet. See you in the fall.

Posted by: The Colonel at May 8, 2006 08:21 PM

Congrats to the Colonel and the rest of the troops...

Posted by: Wink at May 8, 2006 04:59 PM

Yes, Colonel I am in slump. 2 years in row I've sustained devastating losses.
Not to worry though, this summer I will be going an extensive dryland training program and I'll return in the fall in peak form. Ready to win.

However, right now my body and psyche are racked with pain. I think I may have an extended cry.

I've heard a rumor,, are you retiring?

Posted by: PaulOne at May 8, 2006 02:49 PM

Agreed, it was a lot of fun, but it always is, win or lose. It turns out that winning is better than losing. I'd always suspected this was the case and now I know for sure.

Paul One, how many sticks have you won the last couple of years? Does this consitute a slump, a trend of some sort? Just kidding - have a great summer.

Posted by: The Colonel at May 8, 2006 11:22 AM

Congrats chums! One heck of a series, probably the best stick yet. Have a good summer everyone!

Posted by: Gump at May 8, 2006 11:08 AM