May 15, 2005

Stanley Stick Game 2: Lak spells relief

When Lak Attack swept a shot from the top of the crease past a sliding Pig Farming Goalie in the first overtime to give his team the Stanley Stick championship with a 21-19 win, his teammates sighed with relief.

They'd just survived four hours of the toughest, most rugged road hockey of their careers against an opposition that gave no quarter and made them battle for every advantage. For their trouble, they'll get their names engraved on the Stanley Stick trophy, and the summer to heal their aches and pains.

"It was definitely a tough game," says Lak Attack, who shook off a bruised sternum to score the winner. "I think all my teammates are quite injured."

"What a relief," says Lobsterboy, whose wounded toe, hurt in last week's series' opener, was further aggravated by a number of choice chops around the crease. "I can't believe we won. It was hard on the body, I can barely move, but it was worth it."

"The way this game was going, it could have gone either way," says Unabomber, who had been felled earlier in the game by a shot to the head.

"We were starting to think about the mini-game," says Elvis, nursing some bruises of his own, inflicted by the close checking of the Living Legend and Paul One. "We were pretty scared. We weren't feeling too good."

In fact, late in Sunday's game, they weren't looking too good either. After spotting the underdogs a quick 1-0 lead, the series' leaders seemed well on their way to an easy sweep when they stormed ahead by as many as five goals, 9-4. But their feisty foes clutched, grabbed, interfered and chipped away, wresting their first lead since the game's early moments, 17-16.

For Lak and his mates, it was gut-check time.

"We realized we had to start moving a bit more," says the speedy centerman. "We were too stationary, so we had to start coming to the ball."

"We just had to focus, check a little harder, rush a little more to the ball," says Elvis.

"We just had to remind ourselves to keep shooting," says Kid, who led his team with five goals. "Whenever we stopped scoring, it was because we were passing too much, but if we were just shooting, good things would happen."

Three straight goals gave them the lead, and another would give them the championship. But their gritty opponents weren't dead yet, as Paul One countered with two quick goals to tie the game at 19, sending it to overtime.

"When we tied it at 19, I thought, 'this is it,' we had momentum" says Pig Farming Goalie, whose acrobatic goaltending inspired his mates and earned him the Conn Stick award as the championship series' Most Valuable Player. "We had so much hope, we fought right to bitter end."

But their tank had run dry.

"We were so close," says Wendel. "It kinda breaks your heart when you've given it your all, that you've taken an impossible mission and almost made it happen."

"We're disappointed, but at the same time we have nothing to be ashamed of," says Pig Farming Goalie. "We stepped up and played as best we could. But for a couple of bounces, we could have won that game."

"All the odds were against us," says the Living Legend. "They had a lot of speed, they had a lot of scoring, but they had to work for every goal. They had to earn that win."

And for the next four months, the Stanley Stick Champions will enjoy their reward.

"It's a great feeling," says Kid.

"Winning the Stick is something to savor," says Lobsterboy.

"Sweet. That's all I've got to say," says Lak Attack.

Pig Farming Goalie was awarded the Conn Stick trophy despite losing both games of the series. But players from both teams agreed it was heroic effort between the pipes that kept the championship so close.
"He kept making the key saves," said Lak Attack. "He gave them the confidence to keep going hard."
"PFG stood on his head," said Lobsterboy. "He calmed down his players."
"He played a great game," said Kid. "He was covering the ball really well, there were no rebounds."
"He gave his team the time to fight back," said Elvis.
"In a game like this, you need a stellar goalie and we needed PFG to play the best he could possibly play," said Wendel. "He did not let us down at all. He deserves that Conn Stick trophy, he was easily the best player out there."
But, said the agrarian goaltender, he couldn't have done it alone. "MVP award is nice, but I feel it is total team award because every goal that they score we forced them to earn it."

While some roadsters spent the week between games debating the merits and ethics of a proposed trade to try to even up the sides for Sunday's decisive battle, Paul One pitched a gameplan to his teammates that almost succeeded. Conceding speed and skill advantages to their powerhouse opponents, the underdogs set out to control the pace by tying up their checks and changing lines at every pause in the play.
"We had to come up with something that would recognize our faults; we didn't have speed, we didn't have the talent they had, but we could work hard," said the Living Legend. "Paul One came up with a strategy that made sense and we stuck to it. We didn't let egos get in the way. It was a complete team effort."
"We just had to grind," said Wendel. "This series was the all-stars versus the grinders and we had to outgrind them, outplay them and outhustle them for every single ball."
"The fact that we were able to stick on their players played a little bit of mind game on them," said PFG. "When we played physical, they start to back off a little."
"It was tight defensively out there," said Elvis. "It was really hard to get any room, we couldn't really get away from anyone. There wasn't any room out there for pretty plays."

Sunday's finale lasted almost four-and-a-half hours, the longest single game in Stanley Stick history. By the time it ended, through one downpour of rain and three showers, virtually every player was aching from some sort of injury. Besides Lak Attack's bruised sternum and Lobsterboy's aggravated toe, Pig Farming Goalie tweaked his fragile knee twice, including once during a collision with his own player, Paul One, Billy Idol suffered two hard whacks to his forearm from Unabomber, the Living Legend had jammed his wrist, and Kid was sore and frustrated.

Posted by jaysuburb at May 15, 2005 09:40 PM

Okay boys, I'm closing the comments because the spam is starting to find its way in.

Posted by: Jay Suburb at June 30, 2005 05:58 PM

Has anyone taken it? Since i am going on vacation with paulone, this would be an excellent opportunity to torment him all summer! Should we meet for a summer beer to celbrate the victory?

Posted by: lobsterboy at June 27, 2005 02:12 PM

i take it.

Posted by: pfg at June 23, 2005 11:05 PM

How did you engrave the trophy without my hockey pool winnings?

Posted by: Wink at June 23, 2005 01:33 PM

The trophy is engraved. Who wants it?

Posted by: Living Legend at June 23, 2005 08:32 AM

Try soda water. It seems to get everything out.

Posted by: Wink at June 22, 2005 07:17 AM

I'll call you. A week in and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. Looks like a long road ahead. grumble, grumble, grumble

Posted by: The Colonel at June 20, 2005 11:40 PM

colonel email me or 604.733.9936. advice too long for post

Posted by: pfg at June 20, 2005 10:26 AM

PFG, I tore my MCL last night playing in an unsactioned league. Any hints from a guy who's been there, done that?

Posted by: The Colonel at June 14, 2005 12:56 AM

oooh no thank you ... i am into lobsters not crabs. I do think that sea turtles are quite nice ... I bet their beaks pack quite the bite.


where do you boys play together? perhaps I can join you some time?

Posted by: Frankygoestohollywood at June 9, 2005 12:59 AM

ahh Frankie wouldn't you like to know?? Just ask those "girls" Lobsterboy met on his recent trip to Asia.

Posted by: wendel at June 7, 2005 11:22 PM

I searched on "lobster + boy" and ended up here. Could I ask, is there a lobstergirl? I've always been partial to being clawed. Tell me, do you pinch hard?

Posted by: Frankygoestohollywood at June 7, 2005 12:17 AM

Listen Frankie, relax don't do it...interesting 'handle name', how did you find our website? Victory tour over, I ammin Guandzhou and heading hometomorrow! Who has the cup, i need to annoy my wife by putting in on the mantelpiece..

Posted by: lobsterboy at May 31, 2005 09:18 AM

What is this? A website devoted to some strange cult?

Posted by: Frankygoestohollywood at May 30, 2005 10:52 PM

Well I am glad that I have the support of my teamates during my recent ordeal in Japan and Korea. Sorry PFG, I was genuinly surprized as my school sanctionned guidebook, the Rainbow Guide to Asia, advised to go to this bathouse as it guaranteed full entry and surprizes. Now I am in China and I will go to the forwards to the back club tonight for some communist cheer. Will keep you posted as I continue my victory lap(dance) of Asia!

Posted by: lobsterboy at May 30, 2005 02:15 AM

... and as he fled he was overheard saying, "No more, no more you insatiable beasts! Robster-san needs a rest!"

Posted by: wendel at May 29, 2005 10:46 AM

the best part is that he fled the bath house 'after an hour'...

Posted by: pfg at May 27, 2005 08:02 PM

My drink came shooting out of my nose when I read Robster-san's last post. That's absolute classic Lobster.

Posted by: The Colonel at May 27, 2005 06:11 PM

Oh come now, lobsterboy, your surprise over finding yourself being serviced by some like minded and like equiped masseurs is a little strained, don't you think? you've been visiting asia for a long time now, and we know that you know what to expect...

Posted by: pfg at May 27, 2005 07:43 AM

Well, that was shocking, it seems that many of the girls who wanted to touch the 'trophy' were actually equipped with similar equipment. So I fled the bath-house after an hour, while they called after me Robster-san, Robster-san quick massage? Please don't tell Maria.

Posted by: lobsterboy at May 26, 2005 06:53 PM

Thanks for the update from Asia.
I'll let Maria how well you doing with ladies.
Your bro in law.

Posted by: PaulOne at May 23, 2005 08:54 PM

I am enjoying my victory lap in Asia, picked up some chicks in japan, now i am in korea, my nickname has powerful intonations in asia, SUGOI!

Posted by: lobsterboy at May 22, 2005 04:34 AM

So that was hell of game. Congrats to winners; i'm glad it was you who score winning goal Lak, and i'm glad we all made it tough as hell for you to win. all my team mates--you fought like hell, played full team game. Thanks to Paul One for organizing our strategy, and to all you guys who implemented it. MVP award goes to all of you.
see you in the summer...or at the afternoon game...

Posted by: pfg at May 21, 2005 07:34 PM



Posted by: Wink at May 17, 2005 08:04 PM

In my back?
...or on the top of Lobster's catching mitt?

Posted by: Unabomber at May 17, 2005 04:48 PM


Posted by: Wink at May 17, 2005 10:01 AM

Sorry about the cross-checks, Una, but I was just digging for the ball, too.

Posted by: Wink at May 17, 2005 10:01 AM

Paul, it was definitely more "war-like" out there. However, I believe it was war-like •enough• w/ the COWball I took to the ear, Gump's 2 hander below my knee-cap & the sprained ankle I endeared w/o additional (& needless, I might add) cross checks to the spine from a certain someone's ALUMINUM stick. But war is all about giving & taking & I did my share of both, as most everyone did. All in all it was a hard fought battle & a Stick for the ages. Myself, I'm glad the intensity was cranked up for game 2...its the way the game was meant to be played this time of year.

Have a great summer everyone, with the rest I'm hoping for a healthier season next year! I look forward to the mid-summers game too.

Posted by: Unabomber at May 17, 2005 01:13 AM

Wink it's good to see that winning hasn't spoiled you, you're still your usual prickly surly sarcastic self.

Posted by: wendel at May 16, 2005 11:18 PM

Blue balls...Red Bull...yep, I've got two more words for you -- LINE CHANGE.

Posted by: Wink at May 16, 2005 10:11 PM


Actually according to Elvis the secret to his success is that he abstained the night before.

Apparently BlueBalls beats RedBulls!

Posted by: PaulOne at May 16, 2005 04:23 PM

Winning the stick--great, giving back to Gump his hockeypants that are stained with my sweat, champagne, and emblazoned with victory-priceless.

Paulone, Elvis did not need any Redbull to fire himself up, just some sweet loving the night before with a lovely lass was good enough for him. Is Elvis the rhi lothario and worthy of being called the new Sexboy?

Posted by: lobsterboy at May 16, 2005 03:24 PM

"Your honour...I didn't see, how you say, attempted murder. I saw wily strategizing and gritty competitive spirit."
That's fine defence lawyering there, Wendel. F. Lee Bailey, Johnny Cochran, Alan Dershowitz, Wendel...
Keep it up...after a couple of more e-mails, Paul One will be getting the chair.

Posted by: Wink at May 16, 2005 03:16 PM

... but not wondering about the lurid e-mail inquiries??? Very interesting Paul One ...

But don't worry, I am unable to act on Lobsterboy's instructions because I don't know what the hell he's talking about. I saw no evidence at the game of anything other than wily strategizing and gritty competitive spirit.

Great game everyone, both sides dug extra deep and made this Stick a truly memorable one. Have a great summer and we'll see you in the autumn or at the midsummer game if there is one!

Posted by: wendel at May 16, 2005 02:13 PM

I was kinda wondering about the scratches on my car and pizza's.

Posted by: PaulOne at May 16, 2005 01:17 PM

Don't worry about it Paul One. There's no hard feelings.
In a related story, I feel bad that someone keyed your car last night. And I don't know how Panago could mix things up so badly and send you 24 ham and asparagus pizzas. And how pictures of you ended up in the gay male order bride website are beyond me.

Posted by: Wink at May 16, 2005 01:07 PM

As a frequent injured participant in your win at all costs mentally, I would like to thank you for your graciousness even in defeat. However, PFG and I have asked Wendel to serve you with papers for assault, delay of games strategies, and using illegal Red Bull supplements during the game.

Kudos, to WInk who,has not won the trophy since 1997! Yuo have beaten the bambino's curse :)

Posted by: lobsterboy at May 16, 2005 12:47 PM

Sounds like I missed a doozie.

Congrats to both teams for their incredible efforts, to Team Grey for the victory, and to PFG for what sounds like a heroic goaltending effort!

Posted by: The Colonel at May 16, 2005 10:45 AM

I'd like to offer a hearty note of congrats to the victorious Stanley Stick champions. You took everything we threw at you and you won the hard-fought battle. You guys played as a team and you overcame every "trick" and "strategy" we could muster. Kudos for playing through it all.

On a more personal note, I'd like to offer my respect to my more "personal combatants". My style of game (for better or worse) has always been a "win at all costs" affair. Nothing personal is intended and I hope that the feeling is reciprocal. At the end of the day, there isn't a single roadster out there I wouldn't gladly swill beers with.

By the way, Unabomber,,How was that for a "War -like atmosphere" game?

Posted by: PaulOne at May 16, 2005 10:03 AM