March 13, 2005

Goal breaks drought, brings win

Kid ripped a bullet through a traffic jam in front of Lobsterboy to break his side's 40-minute scoring drought and launch their way to a 20-16 win in Sunday's second annual Beer Challenge.

It was a breakthrough goal for a team had been gripping their sticks ever tighter and blasting their desperate shots ever higher after giving up five straight goals to turn a 16-9 romp into a two-goal nailbiter.

"It was a huge goal," says the Colonel, who, with the win, was able to collect the beer booty from his arch-rival, Paul One. "We were in trouble, they were charging, that 17th goal was a momentum shifter."

"It was huge," says notorious gameshow host gone bad, Wink, who had earlier found the range with his patented point blasts. "We went from having no confidence at all to having all the confidence in the world, from thinking 'O my god, we're going to lose,' to 'O my god, there's no way we're not gonna win.'"

"Getting that goal was like pulling finger out of dike," says Pig Farming Goalie, who won his second straight game.

Indeed, another goal quickly followed, making the end result seem inevitable.

"They really sparked up," says Beetle Boy of his revived rivals. "We made some crucial mistakes, they got two quick ones and I think the writing was on the wall at that point."

But for a long stretch of Sunday's game, it seemed as if another ending would be written. For the Colonel and his mates, the seeds of their near collapse may have been sown when the Living Legend left the game after a handful of ineffective shifts to nurse a miserable cold. Suddenly a side with two balanced lines had to stagger its shifts, upsetting their chemistry and weakening their legs.

"I think we hit the wall as far as our energy level went," says the Colonel. "We ended up losing the Legend... and, as the game wore on, we just got more and more tired."

"When we lost the sixth guy, suddenly the chemistry we had with our lines was gone," says Wink. "Guys were tired, it just didn't work."

Meanwhile, their opponents, with two extra pairs of legs powering their offense, came to life.

"We just started to run," says Paul One, as his team clawed their way to within two goals. "We seemed to be real slow at the beginning, they were beating us to all the balls, and then it went the other way, we were beating them to every ball in our end and their end."

"They started checking very hard, and it turned tide a little bit," says PFG of his feisty foes. "They had the drive and the momentum, their heart almost pushed them through to a win."

Posted by jaysuburb at March 13, 2005 09:11 PM

We will beat you all.

Posted by: Paul Two at March 19, 2005 02:30 PM

No Cowboy this weekend - have fun boys.

Posted by: Cowboy at March 18, 2005 09:10 PM

Cage match! Cage match! It's what the fans are clamouring for. Paul One vs. Colonel, a battle of the aged ... er, I mean ages.

Posted by: wendel at March 17, 2005 10:00 PM

Hey Colonel, don't be so tough on self. I don't think Paul One would pummel you, i think you'd get at least one goal...

Posted by: pfg at March 17, 2005 07:15 PM

Plus, One needs at least some small chance at victory. Playing "One-on-One" would only lead to an outright pummeling.

Posted by: The Colonel at March 17, 2005 03:34 PM

Beetle (Aka. Mr Science),

I know the process of Trekadekaitis all to well because I live it everyday.I'm just breaking down in direct sunlight and wearing out over time.

While we're talking science, can you please give me an update on the corrosive nature of oxidation-reduction reactions (i.e. rusting) and the bacterial degradation of EDTA(ethylenediaminetetraacetic acid)?

Bulldog, no cage match, the Colonel and I are buddies.

Posted by: PaulOne at March 17, 2005 10:04 AM

Speaking about wearing out over time.....BB's rain weather (oooh my skirt will get wet) excuses.

Hey boys, hope all is well in gearing up to the Stanley Stick. All this Paul One/ Colonel stuff has lead me to think a 15 minute mini-game/grudge match/cage thing with these guys one-on-one might be in order. Just Paul/Colonel/ two goalies and the court. Then there would be any of this "the team you were on beat the team I was on" fuzzy stuff.

Just a thought.


Posted by: BullDog at March 17, 2005 05:42 AM

Actually, Paul One, trophy engravings don't last forever, due to a process known as trekadekaitis. They last about 1.1 million years, give or take a few hundred thousands when you factor the ambient rays of direct sunlight. Trekadekaitis, in layman's terms, is the break down of the molecular structure of metals -- they just wear out over time.

Posted by: Beetle Boy at March 17, 2005 12:45 AM

Hell, I'm not lucky enough to be on vacation in Palm Springs but unfortunately I still won't be able to make the game this Sunday (forecast calls for rain). See you the following week.


Posted by: Beetle Boy at March 17, 2005 12:14 AM

Dont need the skytrain idol can relax.

Posted by: elvis at March 16, 2005 05:46 PM

uh skytrain?

Posted by: Bliiy Idol at March 16, 2005 11:12 AM


Good Post. Way to go, that's much more like you. Don't try to go warm and fuzzy, it just doesn't work.
Sorry, I guess I have to try and work on that punctuality thing. Don't worry though, I'm always on time for the "Stick" games and that's when beating you will really matter.

Beer challenges come and go, trophy engravings last forever.

See you soon.

Still the One

Posted by: PaulOne at March 16, 2005 10:51 AM

So much for being buddies.

Posted by: wendel at March 15, 2005 03:18 PM

Yes, well the team I was on beat the team you were on. Perhaps next time you and the Lobster will consume less bzzr the night before a big game which in turn might lead to less tears and perhaps even an on-time showing at the courts.

Before you leave for your sunshine paradise, answer me one question ... what kind of a turkey makes a bzzr challenge, shows up 25 minutes late for the challenge because he forgot the bzzr, and then when he eventually arrives shows up with only a six pack because he drank the other dozen the night before???

Posted by: The Colonel at March 15, 2005 03:04 PM

Does anyone go by a skytrain? Billy Idol and Elvis my need a lift.

Posted by: Bliiy Idol at March 15, 2005 11:57 AM


Well played on Sun. You scored timely goals and your team limped across the finish line before us.

Thanks for bringing the BBQ, I know it's a hassle to haul that thing all the way to New West.

We're not buddies. You beat me and ruined my week. Lobsterboy was near tears on Sunday night and we spent much time wallowing in the "we could have, we should have ...." syndrome. What makes manners worse is that I'm going to be away in Palm Springs the next 2 weeks with no opportunity to avenge. I'll have to console myself with poolside drinks, resort golf, casino bets and Disneyland. See you when I get back.

P.s. Looks like you got a pretty good grip on my stick behind the net.


Posted by: PaulOne at March 15, 2005 08:57 AM

Does Mrs. Colonel know about this?

Posted by: wendel at March 14, 2005 03:29 PM

Paul One, you and I look like VERY good buddies in a couple of this week's photos. I think I like the new us!

Posted by: The Colonel at March 14, 2005 12:02 PM

Just bitter-he scores the final goal, and drinks my water so that when the game is over, I got nothing to drink. Your toast kid, I will be wiping that S... grin off your face next time we meet... Off to Korea see you ijn two weeks

Posted by: lobsterboy at March 14, 2005 10:30 AM

look like my time with all my road hockey friends is helping english no? Although 'pulling finger out of dike' could have been misunderstood, i know that now.

Posted by: pfg at March 14, 2005 07:33 AM

All the quotes are in perfect funny words...not like the olden days.

Posted by: Wink at March 14, 2005 06:56 AM

wink what on earth you talking about?

Posted by: pfg at March 13, 2005 11:10 PM

PFG has lost his accent? That's how bad our defence was?

Posted by: Wink at March 13, 2005 10:17 PM