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Pig Farmer answers crease call

Given the green light by a new surgeon to strap on the pads, Pig Farming Goalie wasn't about to let a few red lights keep him from making his return to the crease triumphant. Playing his first game between the pipes since he reinjured his knackered knee last April, the sow-slopping shotstopper settled down from some early jitters to backstop his team to a 20-12 win.

For nearly one period, it looked like Pig Farming Goalie should have stayed a Forward, as he spotted his opponents an easy 4-2 lead, including a rope from the far end of the court that beat him low to the glove side. Confused and confounded, his mates struggled to complete their passes or convert their scarce chances. It seemed a recipe for frustration; twice PFG slammed his stick to the court and yelled out in aggravation.

But then opportunity came calling, and Cowboy Bill answered. Ever the garbageman, the facially-fuzzed forward knocked three straight rebounds past his roomie rival, Gump, to turn the tide. Pig Farming Goalie then dammed the crease the rest of the way.

"Why worry about five goals when there's 20 to get," says Pig Farming Goalie of the renewed confidence he gained as his team forged ahead for the first time. "I don't want to let teammates down, my goal was just to keep team in it so they can get momentum."

Sparked by their newfound offense, and a shakeup to their lines that seemed to create new chemistry at both ends of the court, PFG and his mates never trailed again.

"We started the game running around a little bit like chickens with our heads cut off," says Cowboy Bill of his side's early struggles. "We just started to organize ourselves, I think we started to figure out where everybody else was supposed to be on the court."

"We had to change up the mix to throw the other team back on their heels a bit," says Bulldog, who scored the winning goal after he was moved to a line with Elvis and the prolific Cowboy Bill. "This is a game of chances and we had to seize our opportunities."

"Our team just started to lose focus, and at the same time the other team really started to put it together," says Wendel of his side's second-period collapse.

"I thnk we just ran out of gas," says notorious gameshow host gone bad, Wink. "We had a few bad shifts when we just kinda collapsed, we just didn't work, we got too caught up, we got too pretty, we got lazy for little spurts."

With his team finally on track in the offensive zone, Pig Farming Goalie took care of business at his end of the court. Time and again he denied Lak Attack swooping in from the wing, fearlessly throwing himself across the crease to smother dangerous rebounds.

"You have to go to sort of zen of goaltending," says the agrarian goaltender.

"PFG just kept getting stronger, and we just couldn't beat him," says Wink. "He gets in the right spot at the right time, he always gets squared, and you really have to get him to move his feet, but we just stopped making the moves."

"He really rolled into form as the game went on, and that allowed us to open up a little bit," says Cowboy Bill. "Our offense really came alive."

Pig Farming Goalie got the go-ahead to return to the crease when he consulted a new surgeon for a second opinion about his injured knee, which has kept him out of the lineup for long stretches for the past two seasons. Armed with a positive assessment, and a brace, the back-40 backstopper strapped on the big leg pads confident his jumbled joint could hold up, but not so assured about his own ability.
"Honestly, I felt a little bit scrambled," said PFG about his early tentativeness. "It was tough to get rhythm going. Every bad goal that went in made it feel like all goals that went in were bad goals. It was tough to get into right mental space."
But the rest of the roadsters had little doubt the lapsed shotstopper was up to the task.
"You wanna support him as much as you can," said Bulldog. "We tried to be there defensively for him and he came through for us."
"He's just so technically strong," said Wink. "If you score a goal on him, it's a real goal. He doesn't make mistakes and you rarely see a bad goal go in on him."
But PFG's return to the crease was shortlived, as he'll miss most of January to service the onerous demands of his exploitative employer.

•••••

PFG's return to the crease overshadowed another comeback, as Bulldog returned to the courts for the first time in a year. And his rust showed.
Starting on a line with Kid and the Living Legend, he struggled to find his touch in the offensive zone and seemed lost on the backcheck.
"When you're away from the courts, you tend to forget people's nuances and where they're going to be," said the feisty forward, who was making a special holiday-season start while visiting from his new home in a faraway city. "It takes a while to come back. It's all about timing, it's all about conditioning."

•••••

The Living Legend, who was a doubtful starter as he battled the lingering effects of a viral infection, followed up a four-goal performance in the day's main event with eight of his side's ten goals in the follow-up minigame.
"I was in shock and awe," said Lak Attack of his veteran linemate's unlikely scoring heroics, which staked his side to a 10-9 win.
"I think I'm gonna wake up any moment and realize it was all a dream," said Elvis.
"I knew this game didn't count, so I'm just out there doing my thing," said the Legend, who spent most of the game loafing around center court awaiting the headman pass, and then bounced the gamewinner off his belly.

•••••

The court is dark next week, as the roadsters enjoy the Christmas holiday with their families. Action resumes the following Sunday, Jan. 2. The annual Shrimp Ring Bowl is scheduled for Jan. 9.

Posted by jaysuburb at December 19, 2004 04:49 PM