November 21, 2004Moral victory for scoreboard losersWendel and his mates lost Sunday's game, 20-10, but they didn't feel like losers. Afterall, against an opposition lineup stacked with Sunday Morning Road Hockey's speediest playmakers and one of its most fearsome shooters, just staying competitive seemed like a victory. And for more than a period, they gave their cocky competition cause for concern, even taking an early lead. "They had all the big guns and lots of guys with huge intensity," says the diminutive defender of the daunting challenge facing his team after the stick pull placed Lak Attack, Kid, Elvis and Nibs at the opposite end of the court. "The other team had a lot of firepower and we just had to go as hard as we could." Fighting fire with fire, they rained shots upon an embattled Billy Idol, finding him as permeable as moth-eaten cheesecloth. "We had to take a lot of shots to try to make good things happen," says Wendel. "We were making some good shots, getting some good bounces and we were getting some goals." "You have to take advantage of your chances," says Wink. "We just knew we had to work our asses off," says Beetle Boy, who returned to the lineup after missing last week's rainy-weather game so he could stay dry. But as brightly as their work ethic burned early, it quickly flamed out under the intense pressure of their powerhouse opponents. "We just ran out of gas," says Wink. "We tried to be too pretty and we weren't a pretty team. We were an ugly team, we had to play ugly; but we put on some makeup and we put on a pretty dress and we thought we were something pretty." "They had the energy and they go right through the game," says Beetle Boy. "We didn't have the wheels they did, and they took advantage of that." Indeed, looking around at his teammates, Elvis knew it was only a matter of time before his side wrested control of the game. Despite falling behind 5-3, they resisted the urge to panic. "We had quite a bit of talent to spread out, so we were able to put the onus on the other team to adjust," says the fiesty forward. "We had one of two choices to make; one was to play a defensive game to help our goalie, or we could just try to score as many goals as possible. We chose the latter and team chemistry got us through it." "We got down early and it was a good reality check for us," says Cowboy Bill, who returned to his usual position at the point after making his first career start in goal last week. "It was all about just starting to move our feet on defense, and we weren't doing that at the start of the game." "We started to lose those individual battles,and the ebb and flow of road hockey went against us," says Wink. Posted by jaysuburb at November 21, 2004 04:52 PMComments
Where's Teal Stick? Where's McQuillan? Where's Dal Monte? Where's Henchman? Where have you gone, Bubbles? What has become of you, Bunyan? What about The Doctor? Posted by: Wink at November 27, 2004 02:48 PMyou guys talk too much. Actions speak louder than your lame attempts at wit. See you sunday so i can kick all of your asses. Posted by: pff at November 26, 2004 05:00 PMWendel, I think Elvis was picking up on your satire because that was pretty weak. Bad news boys, I'm in NY for a family emergency and will not be available the next two weekends. Have fun! Posted by: The Colonel at November 26, 2004 04:05 PMDoes this mean that Elvis has left the comment board? Posted by: Wendel at November 26, 2004 01:14 PMOUCH!! Wendy sure got you with that one Colonel -or should I say Private! That was brutal. With slags of that calibure people will have to think twice before engaging into war of words with Wendel. I for one, am steering clear from now on! Posted by: elvis at November 25, 2004 10:33 AMOn behalf of plus-sized noses worldwide, I express my moral outrage at the Colonel's insensitive remarks. I suggest he be busted back to Private and forced to scrub our court with a toothbrush as punishment. Posted by: Wendel at November 25, 2004 09:47 AMHoss that's not fair, you've attacked me at my weakest point - vanity. Like all my fans, I LOVE seeing my smug mug plastered all over roadhockey.net. And to think, this week I was “lucky” enough to get in two of the five shots. That’s a full 40% of the week’s pictorial media coverage devoted largely to me. Well, luck nothing. You see, I've got Jay Suburb and the Sunday morning media all figured out. Our beloved reporter and camera man is himself, deeply infatuated with Lak. So, all one has to do is stand close to Lak and you're bound to find yourself in a plethora of stills come Sunday evening. Subarb, Hoss and I spoke about your Lak-bias this evening and he tells me he’s planning on taking advantage of the ploy this Sunday; so don’t forget your wide angle lens. We wouldn’t want any of Hoss’ nose accidentally chopped out of the photo opp. Posted by: The Colonel at November 25, 2004 12:13 AMWho was that making a lame impersonation of a crabby Lobsterboy?? The Lobster we all know and love would be frollicking in all the bawdy comments and sexual innuendo. Shame, shame on any attempt to turn Lobsterboy into an upstanding citizen, he will always belong amongst the murky bottom-dwellers. Mr. Sands can see from the game-time photos that the only questionable dressing actually going on is my multihued gloves. Of course, the media isn't allowed into the locker room before or after games ... Yoo-Hoo Mr Sands from Belleville, is your league as obsessed as our league about cross-dressing, panties, and other sexual innuendo (Wink , yes i can see the joke coming...) C'mon guys you are turning our venerable league into a freak show, a tawdry tranny tim curry type trollop, there. Posted by: lobsterboy at November 24, 2004 01:15 PMHOSS: Good to see you finally weigh in but I'm disappointed with the quality of the comeback considering the heaps of trash that have been piled on you. I did like your comment about Colonel's chins though. Next time you see him, ask him how his "dom-pae" is doing (Korean for old-man's belly) and why he knows that word. Colonel may have been running into your shoulders but I had more problems with your elbows. You're too darned tall for me to even notice your shoulders. Posted by: Wendel at November 24, 2004 10:10 AMOwned! Posted by: Unabomber at November 24, 2004 05:21 AMI guess one week is enough time off to let Wendy and Colonel (of the KFC variety) to get over the shell shock that they both experienced from direct run-ins with my shoulders the prior two weekends. I was also giving Colonel and extra week of running in to drop a little bit off of those puffy extra chins as seen above the turtle neck in Legend’s masterful camera work. Hey remember to keep the chins up this next weekend guys ;-) LEGEND: Well yes I suppose I do spend too much time checking the website but it sure beats the alternative of working ... UNA: Thanks, you've given a whole new meaning to "watch your back out there". For the record, Wink has been known to hold me tight on the court but it's a purely platonic squeeze. We're just friends. Posted by: Wendel at November 23, 2004 06:07 PMNah, it's been a whole 20 minutes since I posted ;) Posted by: Living Legend at November 23, 2004 05:13 PMGimme a break Legend -like you dont check the posts every 5 minutes, all day long... Posted by: elvis at November 23, 2004 04:47 PMEr, some people seem to be spending WAY too much time on this website... Posted by: Living Legend at November 23, 2004 04:43 PMWendel: Ah yes, but has Wink every "made you a man?" Just ask Kid...if he catches you, we may have to start calling you Wendy. Posted by: Unabomber at November 23, 2004 02:56 PMELVIS: Not sure what stroking you're referring to. You must be getting all confused and excited by the talk of panties and cross-dressing. WINK: Promises promises. Catch me if you can. I've been the victim of your on-court loving before and lived to tell the tale. Posted by: Wendel at November 23, 2004 01:12 PMELVIS: Concerted? Enrich? Bond? Billy Idol just called and he wants his thesaurus back. There's no way you came up with all those words on your own. Sounds like a date in the makeing... Posted by: Billy Idol at November 23, 2004 11:22 AMWINK: Good point. I will make a concerted effort to enrich my life by reading more books -Perhaps on the subject of cross-dressing, so that we may bond over coffee and discussions regarding the 'cultural' significance of matching our make-up & our pretty dresses. WENDEL: Im sorry, was that an attempt at a come-back? Sounded like more verbal stroking... Posted by: elvis at November 23, 2004 11:11 AMCOLONEL: I am deeply wounded. How can you you not take my hockey seriously when I wear an authentic Gulls jersey and lively colourful hockey gloves?? oh, waitaminute ... Well it doesn't matter because I'm looking forward to frustrating your feeble attempts at offence this Sunday, if you can bother to show up that is. I guess first you'll have to wrestle Hoss for the right to wear the game-day panties. Watch out for his large shoulders and small whatever. NEW GUY: Una's right, where the hell are you? Throw your acerbic tongue into this fire, I know Colonel just loves hearing what you have to say. WINK: Giddyap! Gadzooks! Should be an enthusiastic match this sunday, lol. Where's New Guy when you need him. Whoa. Posted by: Wink at November 23, 2004 03:32 AMWENDEL: I looked up synonyms for "satire" and found the words "spoof" and "lampoon". I think I'm starting to better understand what you're getting at. WENDEL: Hoss is simply a girly man who is afraid to face me on the court. He has been like this ever since he was a wee boy. He acts all tough and then shrinks away into the depths of his boy-child hiding place. Although he has large shoulders his heart is small. WENDEL: I went back and looked up "satire" again and realized that there was also a photograph beside the words "spoof" and "lampoon" - it was of you holding a hockey stick. Now I know I understand its meaning. Posted by: The Colonel at November 23, 2004 12:50 AMELVIS: Thanks for remembering to log back on just to dump on me. I feel honoured, nay blessed, nay ... what's beyond blessed?? Anyways, thank you sir, may I have another. WINK: It's called satire not ass-kissing. I was going to tell you to look it up but on second thought I challenge you to use the word in your next column. CHEESECLOTH: Thanks for strapping on the pads all those games this season. All ribbing aside, it's great that you're so willing to play net whenever the game needs you. And better you than me, notice how the few people on the court who have ever seen me play net NEVER ask me to strap the pads?? WINK: OK that WAS ass-kissing. Smooch smooch. GUMP & COWBOY: Have lots of fun but don't come back with some strange and exotic disease. Remember to sheath your clubs before you start swinging. COLONEL: I've noticed that ever since your panty comments you and Hoss have not been on the court together. Care to comment? Is all not well in the Colonel - Hoss universe? Someone have their knickers in a twist?? Posted by: wendel at November 22, 2004 11:26 PMJust to let you know, Cowboy and I will be outta town next week learning new bad habits in Vegas, and then I'll be away the following week at our company christmas party. The old Gump should be back in form after a good two week binge. Posted by: Gump at November 22, 2004 08:36 PMELVIS: COLONEL: BEETLE BOY: BILLY IDOL: WENDEL: Whoa. Posted by: Billy Idol at November 22, 2004 07:19 PMOh yeah I forgot ... Wendel, quit being such a suck! Posted by: elvis at November 22, 2004 06:56 PMMy vote goes to Billy Idol as the early frontrunner for this year's MVP award. Has there been a week when this roadster hasn't come up huge? I mean come on, would you rather be shooting at a moth-eaten cheese cloth or nothing at all? I'll take the former over the latter any day. Posted by: The Colonel at November 22, 2004 02:13 PMThat was the funniest article of the year... maybe ever. However, it did get a little weird when Wink got all 'pretty' and made all those cross-dressing comments. Gaybar. Posted by: elvis at November 22, 2004 10:10 AMMoth-eaten cheesecloth ... once again Dear Leader finds just the right phrase to capture the essence of yesterday's game. All hail Dear Leader, may we bask forever in his glory!! Thanks Billy for keeping us in the game for awhile there. Posted by: Wendel at November 22, 2004 08:39 AMLoL, some good burns in this week's article...particularly the "cheesecloth" one. Look at it this way Beetle, at least the media find you memorable enough to put you in the scratches. = o Posted by: Unabomber at November 22, 2004 03:38 AMWhoa. Posted by: Wink at November 21, 2004 10:53 PMMOTH-EATEN CHEESECLOTH!!! It's just like our Facist commisioner to spin a pittiful performance by our opposing team into a whiney story about how they were so outgunned and destined to lose. Two weeks ago the teams were stacked to one side and the so-called underdogs were victorious but we dont remember that one because the commisioner was on the winning team...... Do we? Posted by: Billy Idol at November 21, 2004 07:45 PMHmmm, long range weather forecast calls for rain next Sunday... Posted by: Living Legend at November 21, 2004 07:34 PMOkay, first off, I only missed one week, I was there for the previous rainy downpour game. I understand that I'm gonna get the shots for missing games but c'mon, I was there 2 weeks ago. I may be sitting out next game in boycott of the media bias. Posted by: Beetle Boy at November 21, 2004 07:03 PM |