Doo's mates can't get it done

Cowboy Bill and his mates didn't just lose some speed when they lost Doo late in Sunday's game. They lost the game 20-16.
For most of the match, the overmatched underdogs had been able to neutralize the speed advantage of their fleet-footed foes, led by the dynamic duo of Kid and Lak Attack. With Gump playing huge between the pipes, and Cowboy Bill, Colonel, Nibs and Living Legend blanketing their checks, it was Doo who sparked the plays at the opposite end.
"Doo adds another dimension to whatever team he plays on," said the Colonel. "He's fast, he's great on the transition and he gets his shot off quickly."
He also makes his teammates better, luring away defenders eager to take up the chase, opening up the court for them to go to the net, where anything can happen. Like six straight goals to give his side an early 7-3 lead and put their overconfident opponents back on their heels.
"A lot of the goals we got were just garbage goals, picking up rebounds in front of the net, lots of screens," said Cowboy Bill. "We weren't pretty, but we went out there and did the job."
But just as quickly, momentum swung the other way as Velma took advantage of the defensive attention being paid his linemates, Kid and Lak Attack.
That's the kind of day it was, said Cowboy Bill, as one or two goals shifted the game's momentum one way or the other.
"I think it was just one of those days when you put in a ton of energy, you get the momentum but you can't maintain it," said Cowboy Bill.
But when Doo had to leave the game early to attend to a personal matter, his teammates seemed unable to once again swing the game their way. They lacked the speed to get to open spots, they lagged on the backcheck.
"Losing him was big," said the Colonel.
"It was just one of those things that we were just starting to crest, just starting to gain some momentum," said Cowboy Bill. "We lose him, that's one more sub we don't have and you could tell in the waning moments of the game that our team just didn't have the legs anymore."

Hall of Famers to face off Feb. 21

Sunday, Feb. 21 will be a Hall of Fame day for Sunday Morning Road Hockey.

Celebrating 20 seasons of the evil orange plastic ball, Sunday Morning Road Hockey's regular game that day will be followed by a special Hall of Fame Game featuring some of the stars from the league's venerable past including its two greatest goaltending rivals, Goaltending Stalwart Wawrow and Lobsterboy.

"This will be a celebration of Sunday Morning Road Hockey," said the league's sole remaining founding father, the Living Legend. "It will also be a chance for the game's current generation to connect with its storied past."

Goaltending Stalwart Wawrow minded the nets for nine years, including the league's formative seasons at the old tennis courts and the Cariboo lacrosse box. His lightning glove hand and fearless determination to throw himself in front of Winkian blasts without the protection of leg pads earned him the disbelieving admiration of teammates and the grudging respect of opponents. His cutting cackle which punctuated many of his more spectacular saves earned him their wrath.

Wawrow became the first inductee into the Sunday Morning Road Hockey Hall of Fame when he retired in February, 1999 to pursue a new job in a faraway city.

Lobsterboy's colorful career spanned three generations of roadsters. Named for his use of his trapper mitt on its wrong hand that made it look like a claw, Lobsterboy's splayed shotstopping style and crazed pursuit of the evil orange plastic ball along the boards behind his net earned him a number of Stanley Stick championships and the league's first rule modification which banned goalies from covering the ball behind the plane of the goal line.

The Hall of Fame Game will face off at 12:30 p.m., after that Sunday's regular game. It will be followed by a gala reception at the newly-refurbished Terminal Pub.

Lak Attack leads comeback sprint

Even as Sunday's game seemed to be running away from his team, Beetle Boy didn't panic. His side just had to start running.

And with the young speedsters Scrappy and Doo now joined by the fleet-footed veteran Lak Attack, who had started the game in net as regular rearguard Gump arrived late, they just that, scoring six straight goals to charge all the way back from an early 6-1 deficit to take their first lead. They never looked back, sprinting to a resounding 20-12 victory.

"We didn't have our legs going, we were just warming up," said Beetle Boy of his team's slow start.

The addition of Lak Attack seemed to spark his young linemates. Their scrambled attacks suddenly had new purpose and organization with the injection of the veteran centerman's leadership and energy.

"He's just so athletic," said Doo. "He makes us all play better."

"That was a big change," said Beetle Boy, of the goaltending change that came when his side was already down 3-1. "That gave us a solid goaltender and added a top scorer, so that pretty much revolutionized the team right there."

It also demoralized their opponents, who stood around flatfooted and mesmerized as they were repeatedly caught up court by the swift transition game of their fleet foes. And as those breakaways turned into goals, their gait slowed even more while the speedsters swelled with confidence.

"We just had the confidence that even if we had two people up and one person back, you just had that belief in each other knowing that it would be okay, the passes would come up," said Beetle Boy.

"Confidence is the key," said Doo. "Once we had that there was no stopping us."

They were like a runaway train.

Colonel's atonement falls just short

Two weeks ago in his first goaltending start of the season, the Colonel was still wobbly from his Saturday night excesses. The result wasn't pretty, a humbling 20-9 defeat.

Sunday, the irascible veteran was sober. But the result was the same, a sobering 15-9 loss to an undermanned opposition.

With the league going through its usual mid-season attendance woes, the Colonel stepped into the goaltending breach for the second time in three weeks, eager to atone for his Shrimp Ring shame.

"I definitely wanted to play again," said the Colonel. "I didn't want to not play again after such a crap game a couple of weeks ago."

With his senses sharp and his reflexes sharper, the Colonel made a number of key saves early in Sunday's game, keeping his team close against a powerhouse squad led by the dynamic offensive duo of Kid and Lak Attack.

No save was bigger than his stonewalling of the shifty Kid on a penalty shot, awarded when a disputed goal call couldn't be resolved. As the speed forward veered to his backhand, the Colonel sprawled to his left, stabbing his stick at the oncoming speedster. Kid lifted the evil orange plastic ball, chipping it off the keeper's flailing stick and ringing it off the crossbar.

"That's something I'm going to look back on in the stats book as an incredible save, but the truth is he missed it on his own," said the Colonel of the play. "He hit the crossbar, I just kinda had the stick there."

Perhaps. But the play boosted energized his team, who charged up the court with renewed determination to erase the deficit they had dug themselves by failing to convert too many scoring opportunities.

"We definitely had our rushes," said Scrappy, who played his first game in a month. "We were pretty even in chances but it just comes down to who can bury them."

Time and again, Twizzler was equal to the task as the sophomore shotstopper stood tall against the young speedster and his fleet-footed linemate, Doo.

"They had young legs so we knew they were gonna come at us," said Lak Attack. "The game plan was to keep them outside on the perimeter, keep them from getting their shots and let the goalie take care of the angles."

Despite the loss, the Colonel was buoyed by his effort.

"The most important thing about playing goaltender is just taking care of your own end," said the creaseminding convert. "You've just got to play to the absolute best of your ability on every play and you never give up on the ball."

That's got to be worrisome for opponents and encouraging for future teammates.

"He played a great game," said Lak Attack of his longtime nemesis. "He played well positionally and he showed us some really quick reflexes. He kept them in the game, definitely."

"He got us through some rough patches when they just had all the momentum," said Scrappy.

Long shots make for short work

In a short game, it was the long shots that made the difference.

Rapier drives from the point by Nibs and Lak Attack propelled their team to a 15-11 win in Sunday's game shortened by a late start and early finish.

Four quick goals over Gump's shoulder and past his outstretched pad when he couldn't handle the quick, hard shots cost his team the early advantage they had built on some deft passing plays by Kid and Colonel and a pair of opportune tip ins by the Living Legend.

"They were picking corners, they were putting them in off the crossbar," said a disconsolate Gump after what he called his worst game of the season. "You know you're going to get beat by good shots, but as a goalie you have to keep your team in it. As soon as you let in a string of three or four goals, it costs you."

Not just on the scoreboard.

As Gump looked back at the shots that beat him, the shoulders of his teammates slumped noticeably as the run of goals robbed them of their early momentum.

"When you can get off those quick shots and they go in, it really kills the other team's momentum because a lot of times they're looking for great saves from their goalie," said Lak Attack.

It also forced their opponents to play tighter defensively. But turning their attention to jumping on the snipers before they could get off another shot left Cowboy Bill open to pounce on broken plays or juicy rebounds.

"When the other team tightens up, it opens up some holes," said Cowboy Bill. "I was able to pick up some garbage goals along the way because they had to tighten up their checking on Nibs and Lak."

And as they found their range, momentum shifted to their side.

"I think we got some breaks and just kept the momentum going," said Lak Attack.

"It gave us confidence that we knew we just had to put some good shots on the goalie and he was going to let them get past him," said Cowboy Bill.

For the fourth time this season, Sunday's game started as a modified half court match after only seven players showed up. Only an emergency call up to the Kid filled out the teams for a proper game.
The lagging attendance and chronic late starts aren't sitting well with some roadsters.
"It's a tough way to start the day," said Cowboy Bill. "We didn't have enough guys so we had to start playing a half court game and then you sort of have to change your style of play to play full court."
"I think the young people these days just don't understand the game starts at 10:30," said Lak Attack.

The ongoing absence of some stalwart veterans like Billy Idol and Elvis also has some roadsters concerned that some players are just biding their time until the Stanley Stick. That has the league office pondering changes to the eligibility requirements to be able to play in the climactic championship series. Previously, roadsters were required to play at least five games in the season to be eligible for the Stick, but that may be raised to eight this season.
This year's Stanley Stick will be played April 25 and May 2.

Colonel's Shrimp Ring pain

The Colonel just wanted to ease the pain in his head from the previous night's excesses. Instead he suffered a world of hurt, losing his first start in net of the season, 20-9.

His judgement perhaps clouded from alcohol, the irascible veteran may have been hoping to savor the shrimp and tangy cocktail sauce behind the reliable two-way play of Lak Attack and the dependable defense of Beetle Boy. An early 2-1 lead and a scintillating glove save as he reached across the crease to rob the Living Legend's one-timer to the top corner seemed to bode well.

"After that first save, I thought, 'O crap, he's a natural,'" said Velma, who set up the Legend on the play with a pinpoint pass across the crease.

"Your role is to keep the game as close as possible so you give your team a chance to win the game," said the Colonel of his early success. "We're out here to win."

But his optimism was ill-fated as the young speedsters Velma and Doo proved too much for the flat-footed veterans like Beetle Boy and Nibs, who quickly succumbed to the demands of a game without substitutions.

"Fitness was a huge factor," said Beetle Boy, playing his first game in more than a month. "Their team had a couple of young guys and then you have us, who haven't done anything for a while. It just killed us."

Those young guys ruled the boards at both ends of the court, beating wearying defenders to the ball time and again then feeding their veteran linemate, the Living Legend, who nonchalantly cruised the center of the court. He scored four goals, three of them on deflections of shots from the perimeter.

"They were able to get in behind our defense," said the Colonel. "They were passing real well and they got quite a few tip-ins."

"The tips were all working," said Velma. "Our team had great chemistry."

Ten straight goals all but ensured an easy victory. The only thing to be decided was whether they could preserve the road hockey shutout for Twizzler.

"It's important to stay focused," said Velma, as his team faltered slightly late in the game before getting their goalie the goose egg. "He's played well all season and it was nice to give him a bit of a reward."

Slipping away

A five minute power play midway through Sunday's game proved to be auspicious for Lak Attack and his teammates. But for all the wrong reasons.
When the Living Legend went to the sidelines to tend to another matter for five minutes, it was a glorious opportunity for the veteran speedster and his young mates, Scrappy, Velma and Louise to fight their way back into a game they'd been trailing all day. Instead, they gave up a pair of goals, sealing their fate in a 20-12 loss.
"It was an indication of our play," said Lak Attack of his side's soured opportunity. "If two guys can beat us then we didn't have any business being in the game."
"I think it really crushed their motivation," said Doo, who scored one of the shorthanded goals as he and Kid managed to still run circles around flatfooted defenders despite being outmanned. "It made the other team realize they really didn't know what they were doing the entire game."
Not that anyone could make much sense of slapdash, haphazard plays in the slippery snowy conditions. A week of icy weather and a skiff of snow that continued to fall through the game rendered traction perilous. Roadsters slipped and slid and scrambled frantically every time the play changed direction.
"It's hugely frustrating," said Doo. "You can't get any speed going."
That meant players had to pay attention to where on the court they were positioned so they could make plays, and stop the other team from making them, said Lak Attack, something his side couldn't accomplish.
"We were always out of position," said the veteran centerman. "You want to be in the proper position between the goalie and the shooter and try to make sure the offense doesn't get a step on you. We needed to play better positionally."
Doo and his mates were only too eager to exploit those positional opportunities, as they bolted to a 7-1 lead and never looked back. Even hitting a startling number of goalposts and missing the open net on numerous occasions didn't deter them.
"The score was a bit closer than it deserved to be," said Lak Attack. "They missed a lot of open nets, hit posts."
That may have been due to the precarious footing, said Doo, as shooters struggled to keep their balance on the snow and ice when leaning into their shots.
"You have to look for the patches of ice and then you play really tentatively around them," said Doo. "It makes offense hard."
And defense even harder, as forwards were able to get to open court with only a few strides or slides with defenders struggling to change their direction.
"You can't move your feet," said Doo. "You can't work your legs, so you have to use your stick."

SPECIAL REPORT: Cold presents new challenges

Baby it's cold outside.
And for the roadsters, that's means making some fine adjustments to their game to account for the effect the wintery temperatures have on the evil orange plastic ball. Like getting out of the way.
"That ball stings you a little more when it hits you in the legs," said Cowboy Bill, whose side struggled Sunday as they never recovered from a 7-1 deficit en route to a 16-15 defeat in a timed game. "Defensively you play a little more tentatively as far as getting in front of shots, especially from the big guys."
As the plastic gets cold and hard, it also gets bouncier, making it harder for players to control.
"You're not sure it's going to end up on your stick as often as it might because it doesn't have any absorption," said Cowboy Bill.
"You've got to have a little softer touch when you're taking passes," said Velma, who made some key saves early in Sunday's game to win his first career start in net. "You've got to have a bit more of a spongy stick and cradle it a bit more when you're making a pass."
"It moves a little faster," said the Colonel, who bounced back from a knee injury suffered last week. "You don't get the same sort of cushioning on the surface, but that means you can move it around a bit more on the surface."
Glaring into the cold winter sun also presents a new challenge to goalies at the west end of the court.
"The goaltender is not going to be able to see the balls," said the Colonel. "Whoever is shooting that way will be taking lots of shots, just throw the ball at the net and hope it goes in."
But most of the roadsters welcome the cold, bright days of December. Especially after the gloom and rain of November.
"The sun is out, it's not raining," said Cowboy Bill.
"I love to play in the cold when it's dry," said the Colonel. "You never really overheat, you can keep going for great portions of the game, you can run hard. These are some of the most ideal conditions."

This season's holiday break will be brief. Which likely comes as welcome news for the roadsters, many of whom were frustrated and discouraged when snow and ice storms scuttled almost a month's worth of action in late December of last year and early January.
Sunday Morning Road Hockey will take a one week holiday hiatus with no game scheduled for Sunday, Dec. 27. Play will resume the following week, Jan. 3, with the annual Shrimp Ring Bowl, the league's traditional celebration of the new year.

Legging out a win

For the first time in three weeks, each team was able to put a full side on the court with multiple spares to spell them off. It didn't last.
Sunday's marathon nailbiter, which took almost three hours to decide a winner, 22-21 in sudden death overtime, took a toll as three roadsters were sidelined with injuries. The wealth of players had become a recession.
Colonel was the first to go down, when he tweaked his knee after staking his team to an early advantage by scoring their first three goals, two of them on sizzling seeing-eye shots from the far end of the court. Then his teammate, the Living Legend, was sidelined after getting a chop to the knee while battling Lak Attack at the edge of the crease. He tried to carry on for a couple of shifts but ultimately couldn't continue, leaving his side only one spare where once they employed two full lines.
The lack of fresh legs started to wear.
"It was a big factor," said Unabomber of the sudden disorganization to his side's finely tuned line structure. "It threw off our shifts and it allowed the other side to get back into the game."
Their opponents were quick to take advantage, scoring three quick goals to take their first lead of the game, 16-15.
"You just have to continue as is," said Lak Attack, who had little sympathy for the other team's plight. "You have to try to play the same way, you have to try to play hard."
But those words would soon come back to haunt him, as feisty forward Mouse, who managed to wreak havoc deep in the corners every time he stepped on the court, left the game with cramps in one of his legs.
Both sides were now equally disabled. And neither had the horses to pull away and win.
"I think that's why it went the distance," said Unabomber. "Both teams had to deal with injuries."
In the end, it was fortitude and resilience that paid off. Cowboy Bill gave his team the lead in the first overtime, but his side couldn't seal the deal. Then they had to battle from behind to tie it at 21. With both sides suffering, it was decided to end the marathon with sudden death.
But even that wasn't clear cut, as Velma's cross-crease shot seemed to carom off the middle post and straight out. Or did it? An argument ensued, but the goal stood.
"Those guys were fairly resilient," said Lak Attack. "A good 80 percent of a game like this is just sticking with it, battling hard and believing you're going to get the next goal."

Chairmen of the boards

First they owned the boards. Then they owned their opponents.
For the second consecutive game, a team of road-hardened veterans ground out a tough victory, 15-9, over younger, speedier upstarts in a modified half-court game Sunday. The semi-game was necessitated by a lack of equipment for a second goalie meant Twizzler had to do double duty for both squads.
Playing with virtually the same lineup that triumphed in last week's rainy showdown, Cowboy Bill, Living Legend and Kid, bolstered by the addition of Doo, forced the play along the boards, winning battles for ball possession time and again, stifling their opponents any opportunity to establish offensive momentum.
"Even though we don't have much speed, we know how to win those battles on the boards, and that's really where we won the game today," said Cowboy Bill, who had a knack for scoring timely goals on long shots that extricated his team from a couple of jams Sunday. "We won a lot of those balls off the boards."
With offensive ball possession in the half-court game determined by the team that could control the ball off the end boards at the opposite end of the court, the reward went to the team that could grind out those battles for the ball. That meant size and toughness ruled the day.
"The other team had the advantage because they outweighed us," said Velma. "That weight advantage in those battles along the boards was pretty huge."
But Cowboy Bill said it was more about guile than girth. "We did a great job on the far end with forechecking, not allowing them to get any good momentum going up the court and maintaining good possession of the ball."
The veterans also seemed better at measuring their effort, pacing themselves for the long haul while their speedy foes blew themselves out trying to establish break-out rushes.
"It's all about just grinding it out, taking care of the ball when you can," said Cowboy Bill. "You have to try to build momentum with good defensive plays."
"You get speed going back to the other end, then you have to turn around and come back; you have to accelerate twice as much and it gets you tired," said Velma.

SPECIAL REPORT: Courts take toll on sticks

The rough sandpaper surface of the road hockey courts isn't just costing roadsters like Scrappy goals, it's costing them money. The young speedster is already on his third stick, just six weeks into the season.
And while he smashed one of them when he was the goat on a bad goal, the blades on his other sticks have been wearing down quicker than they used to.
"I don't think they last as long," says Scrappy.
While most of the roadsters are adjusting to the new playing surface, their sticks are more like toothpicks. That's taking a toll on some players' confidence.
"For finesse players, the blade is pretty much everything," says Doo, eyeing the narrow sliver of his stick's blade. "You need to be able to control your passes, receive passes and make those finesse plays, and you just can't do that with a stick quite like this."
"I'm having a lot of trouble with it," says Velma. "It's pretty tough especially for me because I make my money by going to the front of the net and keeping my stick on the ground."
But with less stick to put on the ground, passes hop harmlessly over depleted blades, shots don't have quite the snap, or sail wildly wide and over the net.
"You have to get your shot right off the toe of your stick," says Doo. "You can't go heel to toe anymore."
"I'm finding I have to shoot off the toe of my blade a little more rather than the heel," says Velma. "It's tough on everyone."
It's also taking it's toll on some players' confidence. Stickhandling is more tentative, feathered passes are easily intercepted.
"When you know your stick is dying on you, you lose confidence quite a bit," says Scrappy. "You worry you can't get the shot off or pass it off. It effects you mentally."

Seven roadsters braved Sunday's cold rain. They played a modified game of three-on-three half-court that pitted a team of wily veterans against the upstart Scooby gang. The veterans used their experience and guile to measure their effort in trying conditions to prevail, 15-8.

Gump gives team a chance

The rain may have kept most of the roadsters away from Sunday's game, but that's when Gump comes to play.
The veteran goaltender made a number of huge saves in his first start of the season, but, more importantly for his tired teammates who didn't have the benefit of a spare player, he wasn't afraid to make some aggressive plays to initiate their offense by headmanning the ball up the court.
And while his playmaking efforts didn't prevent his side from succumbing, 18-16, in triple overtime, he kept them in a game that threatened to get out of their reach a few times.
"You've got to look to make plays," said the veteran keeper who time and again swept the ball up court instead of depositing behind his own net for a teammate to initiate the offense. "If you just keep throwing it behind the net on a freeze and they're out of position, it's better for me to just throw it up and hope we can get a couple of odd-man rushes out of it."
It also helped his team preserve their legs by not having to run back behind their own net as much.
"You've got to make sure your team gets breaks," said Gump., who honed his shotstopping skills at goaltending school over the off-season and seemed to put some of his training to good use Sunday with solid positioning and effective smothering of rebounds.
Those brief respites proved invaluable as the sides traded leads throughout the game, neither able to open up an advantage of more than two goals.
"Both teams had several chances to put it away," said Lak Attack. "It could have gone either way."
In the overtime it almost did, as Lak Attack's side took the first advantage, then gave up two straight goals to find themselves with their backs against the wall.
That's when Scrappy took over, as the young speedster found another gear and a deadly touch for finding holes in Gump's equipment even as he was right on top of the steadfast shotstopper.
He scored two straight goals, taking advantage of odds hops and fortuitous bounces to give his team the lead one last time.
"Scrappy really came on in the end," said Lak Attack.
"They got some lucky bounces off the back wall," said Gump.
As the game entered its third extra period, both sides knew they'd put up a good battle on a wet court, with no spare players.
"It was tough, because both teams had several chances to put it away," said Lak Attack.
"I thought we played well enough to win," said Gump.
And based on his performance in his first game, perhaps even deserved to win.

Favorites need total team effort

As his teammates gathered up their sticks from Sunday's decisive stick-pull, Velma was downcast. With a young lineup bolstered by a rookie goaltender making his first career start as a forward, the feisty forward saw only doom and gloom ahead.
"I thought we were going to get destroyed," said Velma, after his team battled to the bitter end before succumbing 20-18 in the closest, most hard-fought game of the young season.
Going against a lineup of proven veterans like Colonel, Lak Attack, Nibs and the Living Legend, and rookie speedster Mouse, he wasn't the only one thinking rout.
"I thought both teams had a different said of skills," said the Colonel, who predicted an easy victory for his squad before the start of Sunday's game.
But, it turns out, there was little to choose between the sides, as each team played to its own strengths, producing a seesaw battle in which each squad built and then lost three goal advantages.
The underdogs were full measure for their effort, even if it fell a little short, said Velma. For a stretch through the middle part of the game, they even had their opponents on the ropes after reeling in a three goal deficit.
"Our whole team banded together and we just kept crashing and banging" said the sophomore centerman, who was pretty banged up himself by the end of the game, with a scraped, bloody knee and a bruised jaw from a rising slap shot by Lak Attack that caught him squarely in the face.
They also seemed to have a knack for converting every lucky bounce that came their way, an important asset this season as players continue to adjust to the sandpaper surface on the hockey courts.
"Barely any of our goals were from nice skilled plays," said Velma. "We were relying on a lot of lucky bounces."
But with Colonel making some nifty moves, Lak Attack driving hard to the crease, Mouse digging doggedly in the corners, Nibs teeing up from the point and even the Living Legend chipping in with a pair of goals, it took a total team effort for Sunday's heavy favorites to realize their destiny.
"You need everyone chipping in all the time," said the Colonel. "Everything adds up to the final score."

Roadsters reject indoor move

A pitch to move Sunday Morning Road Hockey indoors isn't gaining any traction even as the roadsters continue to struggle with the sandpaper-like surface of the refurbished outdoor courts.

Sunday, in the first official rain game of the season, the roadsters experienced the flipside of the new tacky surface which has created drag on players sticks causing passes to skip harmlessly over sticks and shots peter out even before they reach the goalies; the rough concrete isn't more grippy when it's wet, as a number of players took tumbles on damp patches.

But that hasn't deterred their resolve to change the way they play the game rather than change the game some have been playing for almost 20 years.

"You've got to play a different style now," said veteran forward Lak Attack. "A lot of the softer passes that normally get through onto the tape of another player aren't going to happen; you've got to put a little more oomph on each pass."

"I think defensively you've just got to be a little more aware that passes aren't necessarily going to go tape to tape," said seasoned centerman Cowboy Bill. "You have to put yourself into position to consider the bounce and to be able to take advantage of those situations."

Both stalwarts rejected outright a suggestion made by the Colonel earlier in the week to explore indoor options for the venerable weekly game. A polished gym floor would give the roadsters an ideal smooth surface to exploit their skills as well as keep them warm and dry in the cold, wet wintery months ahead.

"It would be a faster game, a more skilled game," said the outspoken forward who's tilted against the game's traditions before when he's questioned the leadership of the founding fathers. "I think it would make for a more competitive game and for most people, a little more fun."

But the unknown variables of the playing surface and weather conditions are an integral part of the fun, said Cowboy Bill. "The venue is completely a part of the game. That's why we come out here, it's outdoors, it's a chance to get outside and run around."

"I think we all thrive on the different elements we face each week," said Lak Attack. "It would change the game and I don't think it would be for the better."

Some players suggest all the teeth-gnashing over the new surface is much ado about nothing as they struggle to find their game legs in the season's early-going.

"I think if we get a few good balls, (the surface) doesn't affect the game as much," said Scrappy, whose speedy play up and down the wings has barely missed a beat.

If anything, the bouncing balls and missed plays have brought the game back to the goalies and slower, more methodical lunch bucket players.

"I think for some of the players who rely more on their passing ability and quick moves are struggling more than the players who bang and crash," said the Colonel, who admitted to growing frustration on the bouncy surface.

For the second week in a row, Twizzler recorded a road hockey shutout by holding opposing shooter below ten goals in his side's 15-8 win. It was also the second time in three weeks a game ended with the winning team scoring less than the usual 20 goals.

"Both teams are playing on it," said Cowboy Bill. "It's not like you go one way and it's rough and you go the other way it's smooth. It's the same both ways."

And some players are starting to adjust.

"They're starting to get some of the nice passes going, but it requires a bit more hand-eye coordination," said Lak Attack. "I think over time this will make us all better players."

The inability of his teammates to adapt to the tacky concrete spoiled the return to the crease of ER in his first start in more than two years. The emergency backup keeper made several spectacular saves to keep his team in the game early, allowing them the opportunity to find their legs and tighten the score to a more respectable six-goal margin.

Man dis-advantage

Sometimes a disadvantage can be an advantage.

Lak Attack and his mates romped to an easy 20-8 win in Sunday's game despite being disadvantaged by having to play without the luxury of a substitute player to spell off tired teammates.

It was a measured win, said the veteran winger, as his side took control early, driving the game's pace so they wouldn't tire themselves out later.

"We just had to make sure we played at a steady pace," said the fleet-footed forward. "I think we were trying to get good quality chances instead of just chasing the ball around. If you're just chasing the ball all game, you're going to get too tired."

With seemingly all the bounces going their way, Lak Attack, Kid and Velma worked the give-and-go with aplomb, peppering the beleaguered Nibs with shots that found the back of the net more often than they got caught up in the goalie's equipment. Before they'd even worked up much of a sweat, they had a 10-1 lead.

"We were getting the bounces at the start and that deflated the other team," said Velma, who lagged behind his dynamic linemates as he played through a nagging cold.

That would be an understatement. Dispirited and disgruntled, their opponents couldn't catch a break despite fresher legs, including the young speedsters Scrappy and Doo who didn't find their scoring touch until the game was already well out of reach.

"On paper they had a really good team. I'm not sure what happened to their chemistry," said Lak Attack. "They seemed to have all the tools, but for some reason they just didn't have their legs today."

Of course, even the staunchest optimist would have a hard time buying into the idea of erasing a nine-goal deficit, said Velma.

"Morale is a big deal," said the shifty sophomore. "If you don't think you can come back, you rarely do. It really wears you down."

Even as the leaders' legs lagged, their advantage didn't as Lak Attack and Kid continued to weave their way around and through flat-footed defenders.

"Those two are awesome," said Velma of his lithe linemates. "I just kinda hitched on for a ride."

Even if they had to do it with only three wheels.

Goalies take advantage

As the roadsters continue to adjust to the rough concrete surface at the court, the advantage has swung to the goalies.

Sunday, Pig Farming Goalie and Twizzler were virtually impenetrable through the game's first half before the agrarian keeper's mates were finally able to start capitalizing on their chances to take a 10-8 victory. While both goalies made highlight reel saves, more often than not dangerous scoring plays turned into whiffed passes and harmless shots rolling into pads as forwards struggled to control the skipping ball.

"The players have less control of the ball," said Pig Farming Goalie, making a rare start. "There's a lot of weird bounces and ricochets. When they do make passes there's less chance they're going to connect."

"You throw it to your guy and the pass just bounces over their stick," moaned Beetle Boy. "People were getting away good passes but the court was just wreaking havoc with them."

"I think we're all still struggling with the courts and getting our timing," said Lak Attack, who's patented give-and-go attacks more often than not ended with the ball bouncing harmlessly into the corner instead of into the back of the net.

For more than an hour, both goalies took full advantage of their newfound edge as they limited each team to a single goal. With the speedsters neutralized and finesse fizzling, PFG and Twizzler relied on sound positioning and their insatiable appetite for smothering rebounds to keep control of the game.

"The game's a bit slower and they can see the ball coming a bit better," said Lak Attack.

"There was slightly less finesse out there, and what finesse there was, there wasn't a lot of finish to it," said Pig Farming Goalie.

At no time was that more apparent than on a penalty shot awarded to Velma early in the game, when the Colonel threw his stick at the sophomore speedster in a desperate attempt to stifle a scoring opportunity; as he swooped in on Twizzler, his feet moved faster than the ball and, as he reached back to try to regain control, it was too late, the lanky keeper had every scoring lane guarded.

The goals will come, said Lak Attack, when the roadsters adjust to simplify their game. "You have to play the dump and chase a bit more, try to hit the guy with a nice pass and get away the shots quickly."

"You're just going to have to run a little more," said Beetle Boy. "You can't depend on the outlet passes because the chances are they're not going to get to you."

But the very bounces that seemed to working for the goalies Sunday could just as easily go against them next week, said Pig Farming Goalie. That should make for an interesting, and occasionally frustrating season.

"We're under the same kind of randomness that was messing the players up," said the veteran shotstopper.

"The goalies also have to deal with some funny bounces, so I think it evens out in the end," said Lak Attack.

Roadsters bounce back

For the opening of training camp, Sunday's game had a lot of bounce. But it wasn't the roadsters with an extra spring in their step after a long summer of rest and relaxation.

A new, rougher surface on the venerable road hockey court rendered the evil orange plastic ball especially lively, bringing grief to a number of players and wearing down everyone's stick. The surface was installed over the off-season, after large cracks started to break up the concrete playing surface, which is actually the roof of an underground parking garage. The work scuttled the annual summer scrimmage.

With no game action in their legs for more than four months, many of the roadsters struggled with their timing and execution as the pebbled concrete skipped passes over blades. Speedsters who rely on footwork and fancy stickplay, ilke Kid, Scrappy and Doo, seemed especially frustrated as time and again the ball bounced off the end of their sticks in mid-deke.

The challenging conditions brought the game back to some of the plodding veterans, like Living Legend, who took advantage by scoring his team's first three goals of the game. Unabomber also benefitted, as he played his first game in more than a year.

The Legend's surprising scoring touch energized his team to an early lead, but they relinquished it at 9-8 and never got it back as Kid and Lak Attack struggled to finish. And when they were able to complete a play, more often than not they ran headlong into the smothering pads of Twizzler, who overcame his usual early jitters to play solidly in the game's second half, holding on for a 22-20 overtime win.

At the other end, Nibs faded after a strong start, bailing for cover whenever the evil orange plastic ball found its way to Unabomber's stick at the point, afraid of his fearsome shot.

Training camp opens Sunday

The cracks in the courts have been filled, the nets are back in place, waiting to be filled - with goals; Sunday Morning Road Hockey is back, as training camp opens Sunday, Sept. 27.

The roadsters will play a three-game pre-season, to make up for the midsummer game which was lost when the courts were closed for repairs. The regular season commences Oct. 18.

The coming season will also mark the return of Unabomber, who is expected to unleash his mighty slapshot at cowering goaltenders again after taking a year off to travel to faraway locales.